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27 January 2008 @ 12:50 pm
 
Continued from here



No surprise, I get the big evil stare down and her arm yanked out of my grasp. I can hear Wes shifting in the shadows behind us, and part of me wants him out of earshot for this because I might say things...that he's not going to like.

"The plane thing. I'm- I've never flown before either. I was freaking out a little, I guess. And I don't like the idea of us going into a job when there's only one way out. I'm sorry, the over-protective worried thing got out of hand." Like usual. I'd say it better, but she's still got that angry foot tapping thing going on and I'm trying to be quick and still say things right.

"The Wes stuff..." I trail off, feeling Wes' ears perk up behind me. Damn this. "I love you both, I do. I- I'm sorry if I've been favoring Wes. But I-" I know what to do with Wes, I've made guys like Wes. I can't kiss her and make her forget what we were talking about, I can't nudge her towards seeing things my way. And the next stuff I want to say is what I don't want Wes to hear. If only.

"You're different. You know what you want. And you just do it. You don't-" You don't look for my approval like Wes does. "You don't need me," I murmur, "And I don't know what I'm supposed to give you or do for you, except act like a doormat."

She has always done what she wants. Even from the very beginning when she slipped into my office and gave herself a job that morning after she almost became a vampire dinner. She bosses, we say how high, but- This is different somehow. I can't do the big guy comforting and soothing protecting thing with her, because she's always right out there in front doing it for herself. I can't do the smart idea thing for her respect, because that's what Wes does. It's worse than with Buffy even because she at least needed a rock to lean on sometimes.

So I've been arguing with Cordelia, been drifting to Wes, because I know what to do with him. And I know how he feels about me. I don't know how Cordy thinks of me.

"You barge ahead and I-- It feels like you don't respect or care about a thing that I say," I murmur. "Asking sometimes would be nice." I reach out gently to brush a few strands of hair from her face. "We've gotta find some kind of compromise if this is going to work, Cordy," I murmur stepping a little closer. "Because I want it to work. I love you too," I say more quietly, hoping some of that anger oozing off her is going to die down.

 
 
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
 
 
 
Cordelia Chase: Moi?queen_cordette on January 27th, 2008 08:25 pm (UTC)
See? I was *so* right! He has been favoring Wes. I knew it, I knew I wasn't seeing things. And you know what? I wouldn't have minded one bit, cause Wes is kinda needy that way. I mean, hell, I've been favoring him a little bit myself. But does that mean Angel has to put down and question *every* friggen thing *I* say? Hell no! I don't think so. I don't freaking well think so.

And speaking of Wes, maybe it's not such a good idea that he's pretending to be Angel lurking about in the shadows. But the damage is gonna be done anyway, he's gonna want to know. Cause Wes always wants to know, hates mysteries. Especially when they involve me and Angel. Not in the Angel and me sneaking around way, but in the 'anything that could hurt us' way.

My anger isn't going anywhere while I listen to him. I mean, seriously, come on now. What did he think? That he was gonna fuck me and then I'd magically change? What? Did he really think that? And what's this about my not respecting or care about a thing he says? Who's arranged the safe flight for him? Who's been covering his ass whenever Wes got to worried when he was out? Who's been making sure we get paid so we don't starve? Who's kept the vision *just* so she could help out the big hero? Who sits back home worrying herself sick when he's out fighting?

It wasn't Buffy! That much is sure.

"Because you totally haven't been bitching at everything I said, have you?" I snip at him, "And cause you have totally not been going out of your way to do exactly the opposite of what I suggested have you? You knew me before you we went further Angel. Or did you just wake up one morning and realized I was a bitch? Huh?" Ugh! He acts like I've suddenly changed overnight or whatever.

By now I barely notice Wes standing there, though maybe I should. Cause he's doing that slinking father into the shadows thing again. But this is between Angel and me, he shouldn't be here. Wes shouldn't be here. That sounds so wrong. Man, this threesome thing is hard work. Sighing, I let Angel touch me, though the urge to just pull away is so very there. Cause I'm mad, so I should be careful with the reflexy stuff.

"I love you, Angel, but you're a real *Jackass* sometimes. Cause you know what, Angel? You've said nothing you shouldn't have already known about me. Except for the whole my not respecting and geeze... *caring* about you. For that remark I should just shove my prada up your butt. Who do you think you are? I have ..." The Visions. For you. Not a good thing to say. But he's my anchor, he's the one I want them for-- at first. He's the...

"Argh!"
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes s1 looking down blue shirtwatcher_pryce on January 27th, 2008 08:27 pm (UTC)
The Wes stuff? What-- What about me? Angel's been favoring me? Why? I'm so confused, why would he do that? If anyone he should be favoring Cordelia. I no one special. I never get any favoring, or extra attention. And to my shame I can't say I've actually noticed him doing it. But Cordelia must have and that's why she's angry. Does she-- does she think Angel loves me more then he does her?

Oh god. That's not good. Why would she think that? Can't she see the way he looks at her? His next words may be meant to soothe Cordelia but when I listen closely to them there's surge of pain going through me. So if she's all that, then-- consequently I'm not. Does he indeed seem me as some weak pathetic creature, another victim he's supposed to protect? Is that it?

Of course we know Cordelia does what she wants. She's always done that, that's what makes her Cordelia. She gets what she wants, even though she's changed her way on *how* to get what she wants. Ever since the vocah she's changed even more. Seeing the suffering of the world isn't something you'll forget so easily I imagine. Doesn't mean she's drastically changed.

Angel's right though. And he's wrong. Cordelia does need him, she needs him more then he can ever think. I can read between the lines, though it's nothing new to realize that they both know *I* need them. I do need them, which is why I'm suddenly very afraid. Very afraid. Enough that the world is starting to spin and I have to grab hold of the wall.

Especially when it seems to me that neither of them is listening to the other. Same old story I suppose, but I never realized until now how big a problem that really is. Not listening, and not realizing how something makes the other feel. I should lock them up in a room together and loose the key for a few days. Maybe that'll help.

"That's enough. From both of you," I say loud enough as I step out of the shadows. I'll have to think about what Angel said about me, later. Not that he said it directly, but reading between the lines is becoming my specialty. "Neither of you is listening to a word the other says. Please don't do this to each other." Don't do this to me. "Look, let's just go home and talk there. Alright?" I say, strangely enough in a tone that leaves no argument and surprises even myself.
Keep Me: ang training/glare_keep_me on January 28th, 2008 04:40 am (UTC)
Her anger hits me full force and I feel like I need to step back, she's that furious at me. And I don't think she's heard a word I said. She just looks at me accusingly like no one is ever supposed to argue with her.

And that's the thing, she thinks she's this bitch, but she's not. I've seen her be sweet, I've seen her take care of Wes, but does she do that with me? No. She pulls out the bitch attitude and acts like nothing's going to hurt me or her, especially if it comes out of her mouth.

I'm tired of being treated like crap for no reason! She doesn't do it to Wes! She practically treats the guy like he's glass when we all know he's the least likely to break of all three of us. I don't get it.

I do step back from her in shock when Wes decides to join the...fun, and his voice rings out, tired but firm. Firmly fed up.

I give Wes a short nod and step away from Cordelia because...if we go another round right now, I think I really might say something I'm going to regret and that would definitely hurt more than just Cordelia or me. Wes has had a hard day, and doesn't look like any of us are in top form.

The car is close so it doesn't take long to get to it and get it started. I don't know if I even want to talk when we get home. Nothing's going to change. And maybe sleeping on it would be best.
Cordelia Chasequeen_cordette on January 28th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC)
And that's a tone of voice I never, ever hope to hear again. Especially not aimed at me, or Angel for that matter. Wes doesn't do angry often, but when he does it's this quiet stormy kind. Where you know an explosion is just waiting to happen and when it does... I hope I never get to watch Wes explode, especially not for something I done. Its bad enough to have Angel looking at me like I'm some kinda bitch who's only out to get *him*.

Pfffft.

Anyway, now's not the time to keep on fighting. As much as I'd like to, I have way more class for a shouting contest in the street. This is private business, Wes got a point there. We don't have to become the next big gossip thing in Caritas. Or, as I see several people and demons glancing at us, an even *bigger* gossip thing. Great. This'll be great for our rep, which wasn't much to begin with. Bah.

The sigh that I had planned to push trough my lips becomes a huff as I turn around on the heels of my very fake prada's. Can't afford the real deal these days and that kinda irks me in ways these guys could never get. But we got bigger problems then my shoes now. We got a crisis on our hands and how is it that its Wes who ended up as the peace-maker in this relation ship.

Although, now that I think about it, maybe not so strange. He's the strong one while everyone thinks he's not. And that's the mistake Angel and I both make time and again. Thinking he's not strong, thinking he needs protection, thinking he needs a buffer, thinking-- I'm spending to much time with Wes. To much thinking.

As I slip into the car, it doesn't escape my notice that Wes makes sure to be in the middle, sitting between Angel and I. I keep staring ahead of myself, though there's a bit of relief when I feel Wes' hand on my knee. A glance to the side tells me he's put his other hand on Angel's knee, and that makes me smile inwardly. God, I hope Wes knows what he's doing, cause I sure as heck don't. So lost, so damn lost.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes white shirt glasseswatcher_pryce on January 28th, 2008 05:30 am (UTC)
All it takes is a look after that and they both slink off toward the car. To say that I'm stunned would be an understatement. Stunned that they listened, and stunned that there is a fight going on. Here I was, fool that I am, that everything was going wonderful. Everything *but* me and my big mouth. Is this my fault? Had I been wrong to tell them that sordid story of my past? That's it, isn't it? This is all my fault, wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me.

I have to fix this, but how?

With a sigh I run a hand through my hair. My glasses somehow ended up in my hands where they're were being polished ferociously. Any longer and the lenses might've come out. I quickly push them up my nose and make my way after Cordelia and Angel, neither of them in much of a hurry to get into the car. Lovely, now they don't even want to sit next to each other? What is *wrong* with these two?

The drive home is quiet and tense, not at all the mood one would expect of a group who's just been given a free holiday to Hawaii. Cordy was so happy about that. Angel wasn't. I wonder why that was as well. Maybe that's what triggered it? I can try to figure this out until I'm blue in the face. Unless these two talk I'll never do, not really.

So when we arrive home, I briskly walk into the apartment and point toward the sofa. I can tell from the looks on their faces that they don't want to talk. Well, tough luck for both of them. I've had it up to here with this. How could I not see how serious this was? Damn.

"Sit down, both of you. Now I want to know what in the bloody hell is going on here. I don't want any finger pointing, I don't want any 'but she did or he did', I don't want any accusations. I want to know what the problem is. And when one of you talks, the other shuts up. Got that? Good. Angel? You start. Dennis? Could you get Cordelia and I some water and Angel some blood? Thank you."
(no subject) - _keep_me on February 10th, 2008 03:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on February 10th, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - watcher_pryce on February 10th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on February 10th, 2008 08:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on February 11th, 2008 05:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - watcher_pryce on February 11th, 2008 05:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on February 11th, 2008 10:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on February 12th, 2008 05:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - watcher_pryce on February 12th, 2008 05:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on February 16th, 2008 02:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
Cordelia Chase: Lose Itqueen_cordette on February 16th, 2008 03:44 pm (UTC)
The huh with the what now? So getting very confused here. Even though, yeah okay he has a point. Heck, all I thought was about Angel was the he wasted his salty goodness time on that stupid Buffy. Till I found out he was a vampire, which ewwww...at that time. And Wes? Yeah, he was the, I thought, rich boy I used to rub stuff into Xander's face with. Wow, now that I look back, I was a total bitch. And so, so young.

Geeze. When Wes is making a point, he's making a point isn't he? Except the part where he seems to be blaming him. That I don't like. "Aw, Wes," I murmur when he keeps like-- He's putting himself down. Sounding like he-- Yeah, he sounds like he was when he first came here. No, not like he first came here. He was eager to please puppy then. He's so much further then that, but he's *still* blaming himself. Dammit!

"If there's anyone not to blame its you, Wes," I tell him, looking at Angel with a frown. Did he actually get the point Wes was trying to make? Seems our vampire broody guy is focusing on Wes not leaving. I'm all for that-- but Wes may have a point. "It's Angels fault," I tell him, "and-and mine." Ow, that hurt. No, really, that kinda hurt.

And that's enough with the point having. He's not leaving! He's not well enough! And-and what are Angel and I supposed to do without him? Huh? Huh? I share a worried look with Angel, kinda wondering what scares me more. Being alone with Angel and finding out we don't-- work. Or being here without Wes. Or, you know. both. Probably both.

"You're not well enough to be on your own yet," I add to Angel's almost command that Wes so isn't leaving. "You don't even take your medication and stuff. "You're not leaving, okay." So there. With both Angel and I doing our alpha thing? Wes totally has no choice. He's Wes, I need him. Angel needs him. Not just as our referee, he's like our balance guy.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Glasses thoughtfullwatcher_pryce on February 16th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
The moment they open their mouths, I can tell I still haven't gotten my point across. Aren't they listening to a word I say? Am I wasting my breath here? Why won't they listen? My leaving them right now really is starting to sound more and more the best way to deal with this. With them.

A sad smile slips out when they both tell me it's not my fault. We all know differently, of course, but it's nice of them to try. Though, one has to wonder why exactly they don't want me to leave. To afraid to only have each other to deal with? Without myself in the middle? Or do they truly not want *me* to leave?

Doesn't matter right now. They are. They need to work things out between each other. And if they still do not get that after all I've said? Then this really is the only option left. Maybe this vacation will turn out to be a godsend, the two of them spending time together elsewhere might do the trick.

I'm almost tempted to stay here in Los Angeles. Especially considering we'll have to... fly to get there.

"Dennis? If you please?" I ask, glancing up into the empty air. I hope there's at least one being around here who only needs half a word. The sounds of the closet opening and closing in the bedroom gives me hope.

"Neither of you have listened to a word I said," I tell them quietly, aborting the gesture of pulling my glasses off. Again. "Which tells me more then any of your words will. Cordelia and I work, Angel and I work, but-- you two. You have a problem," I murmur, nodding my thanks as Dennis drops my bag down at my feet.

"You two need to work out those problems, figure out what you both want or need from the other. And you don't need me for that. Not as a distraction," whether they realize they're using me as such or not doesn't matter now.

"I most certainly have no intention to play the role of referee this relation ship. I will see you both at the airport tomorrow evening," I tell them. Picking up my bag, I walk past them. Giving first Cordelia, then Angel a kiss to the forehead before heading over to the front door. "I love you *both*," I say softly, opening the door, "please don't ever let it get so far that I have to choose. Because I wont do it. I'll see you both tomorrow."
Keep Me: ang curious_keep_me on February 18th, 2008 10:21 pm (UTC)
No, no. No, no, no. He is not walking out of here! And damn Dennis for helping him! I glare at the suitcase I see float toward Wes. Yeah, Dennis, that one's for you.

I'm too shocked that he actually thinks he's going to leave and be alone and have us figure out how this is not working. "Wes," I murmur in protest when he kisses my forehead and then Cordelia's. He makes a fine tragic figure, but that's really not what either Cordelia and I want.

And I just can't sit here and watch him leave. "Wes, wait," I say, vampire speed getting me between him and that door. "Wes, you didn't cause this and you're not to blame for it. You're not some distraction, we love you," I say, glancing over Wes' shoulder at Cordelia for confirmation.

"Cordy and I... will work this out. You don't have to play referee, but you don't have to disappear. You're part of this relationship. It's either three or nothing. I think- I think you forgot to mention the change where we all fell in love with each other. We grew into that too, and we'll grow into this. You-" I put a hand on his shoulder in a feeble effort to get him to stay without really using force.

"We want you here. You don't think we're going to be not thinking about you the whole time we're trying to figure this out do you? That's one thing we do agree on, that we need you with us too. We're not separate from you, and we're not going to be once Cordy and I figure this out. It's not going to be an overnight thing, or a vacation thing. There's going to be bumpy spots..." I trail off, feeling like I'm just throwing words at the inevitable.

"You know I'm no good at change. I drive a car from a different decade and think like a guy from a different century. If we can't all work together then it's not going to work. I mean, sitting out one round isn't going to help anything. We're all going to be referee at some point, I think..." Don't go back to that apartment, Wes, I say, looking into those blue eyes. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. I don't know who I'm supposed to please here, but I know I want them both to be here and to stay here. "Please stay."
Cordelia Chase: OMGqueen_cordette on February 19th, 2008 05:25 am (UTC)
"Dennis!" I scowl up in the air when I hear the stupid ghost pack Wes' bag. I know he didn't like the boys much at first but now he's on their side?! Or well, Wes' side in this case. Or maybe he's just glad to get rid of one of them? Either way, he's so totally going to regret it! Wes isn't leaving, no matter how much of a drama queen he is about it. Besides that, there's only room for one drama queen in this relation ship, and the kings aren't it!

And he's still leaving? Wait, whoa, no, no. That so is not of the happening. Wes can't leave! I know, I know he has a point. I know I use him as a distraction sometimes when Angel annoys me to no end. When I get frustrated with Angel, I use Wes as a distraction as well. Yeah. That's true. And funny thing? Both Angel and I do usually listen when Wes says something, or tells us to shut up.

Makes you wonder just who's in charge here really doesn't it? I mean, look at us? Angel and I are about freaking out cause Wes says he's leaving. Not leaving the relation ship, god no. I hope fucking well not! But leaving us for a bit so we can work things out and we're doing the freaking thing.

Would it really be so bad for me to spend time alone with Angel? If Angel's frantic reaction is anything to go by? Spending time alone with me is all kinds of bad for him. Huh. He's still focusing on the threesome thing, but missing the point.

Anyway, Wes isn't leaving. So with Angel standing in front of ex-watcher guy, giving him a speech. I get up slow and move behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. Holding on, stopping him from going even though I know deep down that it might actually be for the best. Angel can't stand the thought of being alone with me, so Wes can't go. Can't go and brood himself into a depression. Just so not.

"Don't leave, Wes," I say in a voice that's unusually quiet. "I know Angel and I need to work things out. And yeah, maybe we- I have been using you as a distraction." Not gonna talk for Angel, even though he so was doing the same. "And maybe you did play referee more often then not okay? Cause you're just gonna go back to your place and brood in the dark and drink yourself into a stupor and blaming yourself and for all we know you could, I dunno-- do some stupid Wes like thing." Yeah, okay, dramatic maybe, but if it stops him from leaving? I can so tack onto that.

Edited at 2008-02-19 05:25 am (UTC)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes sulk s2watcher_pryce on February 19th, 2008 05:26 am (UTC)
Damn vampire speed! That's really not fair. Really not fair at all. I sigh and glance up at Angel tiredly, wondering what more he can say to convince me I *shouldn't* be leaving. I'm rather disappointed that when he does open his mouth he's not telling me anything he hasn't told me mere minutes ago. He's still not getting the bloody point! Why is he not getting the point I'm trying to make!

"There will be no 'three of us' if you and Cordy don't work out this crap between you. It has nothing to do with me, except for the fact that you're using me," I explain him. Again. This time a little more annoyance in my voice. "Why can things work between you and I, and between Cordy and I, but not between you and---"

What the... "Cordy," I murmur when a pair of arms wraps around my waist. Great. Now I have a brooding vampire pleading in front of me, and a demanding seer wrapped around me. Doing what they do best. Exerting their alpha status. And that, I think, is the whole problem. They're both wanting to be the boss and that's not going to work until they figure things out.

And Cordelia's speech isn't really doing anything to make me change my mind. Though-- she's probably right. Except for the drinking part. I don't drink that heavily! And certainly not when we have a job to do tomorrow. "Stupid Wes like-- what?" I blurt, blinking first at Angel and then over my shoulder at Cordelia before shifting a bit on my feet.

"Look, you both want to be in charge. You're both--" I wave one hand around in frustration while looking for the right words. And how odd is when Cordy's still wrapped around me and Angel's doing his looming thing. "--So bloody-- Alpha, that it's going to influence this relation ship. Either you two work this out, *separate*, or there wont be a relation ship at all. This is a problem *you two* have. Not I. *If* I stay here, I'm going to the guest room right now and stay there until it's time to leave for the... airport."

Oh yes. Lovely. So I can work myself into a frenzy about *that* on my own. Brilliant plan, Pryce. Maybe Cordy had a point about getting drunk. It's starting to sound splendidly good about now.
(no subject) - _keep_me on February 19th, 2008 12:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on February 19th, 2008 04:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on February 24th, 2008 02:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on February 25th, 2008 05:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on March 3rd, 2008 04:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on March 3rd, 2008 05:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on March 8th, 2008 02:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on March 9th, 2008 06:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on March 31st, 2008 02:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on March 31st, 2008 12:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on April 2nd, 2008 02:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
Cordelia Chase: Eyebrowraisequeen_cordette on April 2nd, 2008 04:38 am (UTC)
Okay. What's with supris-o, confus-y look? Oh my god. I rip out his throat old fashioned way and it's not of the good. I try to be easy going and not fight, and it's not of the good. Kinda gets me way annoyed, you know? Makes me wonder what the hell he expects of me. Mixed signals much? 'Wes has it easier Cordy, you never treat me like that.' And then I do and I get *this*. Ugh!

Yeah, smile definitely running away when I see that distrustful gleam in his eyes. I don't know, everything I do seems to be the wrong thing. Everything Wes does seems to be the right thing. Then he's all 'Awww, Wes.' Or 'Weeeh Wes'. Yeah, I know Wes kinda evokes that sorta behavior in others and I know he'd not even aware of it. Only reason it doesn't get me more angry.

Doesn't mean I'm not with the jealous. Cause yeah, why can't he treat me like that? Why do I get the confused and distrustful looks? "Yeah, just us two," I agree with a sigh. More like just the two of them. Wow, insecure is so not a good look on me. Lets not even *start* on the feeling. You gotta go easy on him, Cordy, Its what Wes basically said. And look where it gets me.

And now he wants to make out and kiss. Such.A.Guy.

Shaking my head, I carefully fold the papers over what's left of my chocolate bar and put it on the table. Then I pull away from Angel fully, fake a yawn - almost fake, more tired then I thought - and nod over to the bedroom. "Kinda late, we need to get up early tomorrow. Still got a lot of packing to do tomorrow so I'm gonna go head to bed," I tell him, walking over to my - our? Dunno - bedroom. "I know you're a vampire and all, Angel. But try not to come to bed to late okay? And next time I act like you ask me to? Maybe looking a little less distrustful might, oh I dunno, be a bit more encouraging. Mixed signaly much?"

Fine. I'll write him that friggen letter with 'a hundred reasons Cordelia Chase loves Angel but the dense idiot vampire is to dense and *distrustful* to even notice.' Yeah, I'll do that. Now I'm gonna sleep, cause fuck it, I tried. I can at least say that to Wes when he asks in the morning. I tried, not sure if it did any good.
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on April 3rd, 2008 02:01 am (UTC)
What just happened?

Damn it. It seems like nothing ever comes out right. I guess I need to keep my mouth shut and like...wear a mask? What's wrong with my looks?! Fine. I'm following Cordy's lead. If she wants to pretend to be sleepy, that's fine. Not that she doesn't look tired - and I know I have myself partially to blame - but seriously, that yawn and fake stretch weren't going to fool anyone.

And I feel even more confused when she says, try not to come to bed too late. She wants me to sleep in the same bed, but she...doesn't like me? It seems like I can't do anything right and she can barely stand me. I don't know!

Good thing I didn't ask if we should go see if Wes is alright. That would have been a mistake even I could have seen a mile away. I sigh inwardly and slump on the couch. My first instinct is to stay out on the couch since I'm not wanted, but I'm trying to think about how that would backfire...and it would backfire royally.

So I should go to bed with her? I don't know. I do know that I don't like us parting like this, so I catch up with her before she can get too far, gently gripping her wrist. "Cordy," I murmur, trying to figure out what I wanted to say before trying again, "You're the only girl I want. I don't want you to change. Be yourself. I'll...figure things out eventually," I add quietly, releasing her wrist.

I know I rarely say the right thing, but I can at least try to give her the right feeling before going to sleep. "Good night," I murmur, walking back to the kitchen to re-heat the blood that Wes had Dennis get for me. I'll give her a chance to have some space. And I'm really, really going to try not to just sack out on the couch. That would be a bad idea, Angel, I remind myself as the microwave beeps.
Cordelia Chase: Lose Itqueen_cordette on April 3rd, 2008 04:34 am (UTC)
There's a brief glance at my wrist when he grabs hold of it. Yeah, it's gentle, and you know? Any other time I might have made me and my body thrilled. Right now though? So not with the thrilled, more with the annoyed. Now what does he want? I keep having to repeat Wes' words in my head. Go easy on him, he needs time, don't be such a big bitch, Cordy. And hey, Angel needs a hug.

"You don't?" I echo after him coolly. Doesn't want me to change. Yeah, right. Then why *is* he protesting and complaining and going against everything I say or do? And when I finally do the pliant thing? He looks distrustful. It's never right. And I can't point that out without being a bitch. That's not to say it's not on the tip of my tongue. Getting so tired of this.

"I hope you will figure things out sooner then eventually, Angel," I tell him quietly, giving him a desperate look. "Because eventually I'll grow tired of having to explain everything fucking thing I do, having to defend every fucking thing I do and having to see that distrusting look in your eyes when I try to-- Oh forget it. I'm to tired for this."

Throwing my hands in the air, I sigh and turn around on the heels of my feet. The door closes, my clothes are off and hung out to air. Wes's pajama shirt is still on the bed and I slip into it. As well as a pair of Angel's boxer shorts. Insecure really is *not* a good look for me, I think as I slip under the covers. Dennis turns off the lights while I stare into the darkness, biting my lips. I'm so not gonna cry, so not. But-- what happened? What did I do wrong? Why can't things between Angel and me be like Wes and me, and Angel and Wes? Why not?

Sleep, I tell myself, gotta get up early tomorrow. Pack, take care of my guys cause they'd forget themselves if I let them handle things alone. With another sigh I cuddle up in sheets that smell like Angel and Wes. My guys. *My* guys. I already knew love was with the hurting at times. What with the whole Xander thing. But...wow...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes glasses looking down S2watcher_pryce on April 12th, 2008 10:16 am (UTC)
All night I'd been up. First trying not to listen in on Cordy and Angel talk. That was a hard thing to do, and I haven't quite managed it. Couldn't everything and I wasn't sure if I should be relieved there wasn't any yelling. When Cordy yells she usually isn't so mad. Not really. Its when she gets quiet and calm that you have to look out. Angel, I'm not so sure what Angel does when he's mad. He always seems so cool and collected, so together. Which I know is a facade, just like Cordelia and I wear. Only he's worn his for so long he doesn't quite know how to take it off.

The rest of the night was spend trying not to think about going on an airplane. I'd packed (only to have Cordelia *re-pack* my entire back in the morning) and then did some research. Which was actually the best way to keep myself from thinking 'airplane' and 'flying'. I really, really do not like flying. There could be a bomb hiding in the luggage, the plane could malfunction, it could crash, the pilot could get unwell, it might fall apart!

So yes, research seemed to be good distraction. I had put then prophecy aside for now, since I wasn't going to be able to take it with me. I was looking at something more important. Visions. It hadn't escaped either myself nor Angel how much pain Cordelia was in. The stronger painkillers she kept hidden. In the long run I feared that those visions were going to cost her, her life. I was looking for a way to get rid of them, with or without her consent. Something told me Angel might be on my side when it came to that. But since that search wasn't panning out, I had focused on something else. Something promising. Something for which I might actually get the final answers to on...Hawaii.

Now, hours later, we were at the airport. Breakfast had been somewhat tense. Cordelia had gone out to 'do some last minute shopping'. She came back with a smirk on her face, saying she got a surprise for us. Since it was one of those smirks that tears you between makes you back away fast, or wanting to see that surprise right now, I didn't ask. Cordelia spend the rest of the afternoon packing. My bags, hers, and Angel's as well of course. And then we were on our way to the airport. Even though it was a private jet our client had, we still had to go through the motions.

Good thing we has those fake papers made for Angel.

Most of all this had passed me by in a daze. The only thing I had been managing to do was slip a few research books into my luggage when Cordy wasn't looking. The rest of the time I was to busy trying not to panic, or hyperventilate or eat up my fingers while chewing on my nails. Cordelia had rattled a bottle of pills and ordered me to take some. 'It'll calm you down, Wes. Now swallow!'

They weren't really helping. Of course, standing in front of the large window watching the planes coming in and taking off? Wasn't helping at all. But I hadn't been get myself to move for the last fifteen minutes and wasn't even sure if I could should it be time for us to leave. Flying. On an airplane. What the hell was I thinking?! Alright, calm down. Breathe in, breathe out. Stay calm, stay calm, I kept telling myself while coppery taste filled my mouth. Must've reached the end of my finger nails then. Bloody fantastic.
Keep Me_keep_me on April 12th, 2008 02:49 pm (UTC)
Boy, I really look like a dork in this I.D. they made for me. Wow. Who knew I was such a dork. But I think they cut the photo from some picture with both Wes and Cordy so maybe that accounts for the dorkiness. Although, I guess that doesn't account for my hair sticking up all weird. And I look like-- Anyway. I shove the card back in my wallet and continue staring out the window, one hand in Cordy's, the other wanting so much to rub over Wes' back to calm him down. But we're all still in public for one, and for another, I'm not sure if it won't set Cordy off again.

Talk about an awkward day.

I tried to act normal, I really tried. I slipped into bed with Cordy quietly, arm lightly around her waist, but I didn't try to keep her close, not sure how mad she actually was with me. And I got up to make breakfast, but last night was just lingering in the air and none of us seemed to be able to make any conversation. Wes looked so tense he probably didn't even notice though. And when the way Cordy had sounded last night, I didn't even try to comfort him. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Cordelia disappeared for something, and then disappeared to do the packing. Which I totally kept my hands out of. Might've sneaked a few things in when she was done, but I didn't get in the way, or make a fuss. I stayed in the living room and then when I couldn't read, cleaned the kitchen while Wes was doing some kind of last minute research.

Once Wes got worked up though, things seemed to go a little smoother, with both Cordy and I working together to keep him functioning and peeling his fingers from a few doorways now and then.

We got through all the checking in and security and finding where to go for this private jet Mr. Whathisname had hired for us and it was almost time for us to board...

And now I smell blood.

I squeeze Cordy's hand a little tighter and look at her, nostrils flaring a bit to catch the scent better. Not Cordy. Wes. "You okay?" I ask him, looking him over surreptitiously for any obvious wounds. He's been going at his fingertips for awhile. Maybe he bit himself? I glance at Cordy again, trying not to look to worried. When are those damn pills going to kick in?
(no subject) - queen_cordette on April 12th, 2008 10:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - watcher_pryce on April 12th, 2008 10:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on April 13th, 2008 02:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on April 13th, 2008 10:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - watcher_pryce on April 13th, 2008 10:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on April 13th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on April 14th, 2008 04:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - watcher_pryce on April 14th, 2008 04:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _keep_me on April 19th, 2008 07:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - queen_cordette on April 20th, 2008 10:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - watcher_pryce on April 20th, 2008 10:09 am (UTC) (Expand)