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27 January 2008 @ 12:50 pm
Continued from here

No surprise, I get the big evil stare down and her arm yanked out of my grasp. I can hear Wes shifting in the shadows behind us, and part of me wants him out of earshot for this because I might say things...that he's not going to like.

"The plane thing. I'm- I've never flown before either. I was freaking out a little, I guess. And I don't like the idea of us going into a job when there's only one way out. I'm sorry, the over-protective worried thing got out of hand." Like usual. I'd say it better, but she's still got that angry foot tapping thing going on and I'm trying to be quick and still say things right.

"The Wes stuff..." I trail off, feeling Wes' ears perk up behind me. Damn this. "I love you both, I do. I- I'm sorry if I've been favoring Wes. But I-" I know what to do with Wes, I've made guys like Wes. I can't kiss her and make her forget what we were talking about, I can't nudge her towards seeing things my way. And the next stuff I want to say is what I don't want Wes to hear. If only.

"You're different. You know what you want. And you just do it. You don't-" You don't look for my approval like Wes does. "You don't need me," I murmur, "And I don't know what I'm supposed to give you or do for you, except act like a doormat."

She has always done what she wants. Even from the very beginning when she slipped into my office and gave herself a job that morning after she almost became a vampire dinner. She bosses, we say how high, but- This is different somehow. I can't do the big guy comforting and soothing protecting thing with her, because she's always right out there in front doing it for herself. I can't do the smart idea thing for her respect, because that's what Wes does. It's worse than with Buffy even because she at least needed a rock to lean on sometimes.

So I've been arguing with Cordelia, been drifting to Wes, because I know what to do with him. And I know how he feels about me. I don't know how Cordy thinks of me.

"You barge ahead and I-- It feels like you don't respect or care about a thing that I say," I murmur. "Asking sometimes would be nice." I reach out gently to brush a few strands of hair from her face. "We've gotta find some kind of compromise if this is going to work, Cordy," I murmur stepping a little closer. "Because I want it to work. I love you too," I say more quietly, hoping some of that anger oozing off her is going to die down.

Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Cordelia Chase: Moi?queen_cordette on January 27th, 2008 08:25 pm (UTC)
See? I was *so* right! He has been favoring Wes. I knew it, I knew I wasn't seeing things. And you know what? I wouldn't have minded one bit, cause Wes is kinda needy that way. I mean, hell, I've been favoring him a little bit myself. But does that mean Angel has to put down and question *every* friggen thing *I* say? Hell no! I don't think so. I don't freaking well think so.

And speaking of Wes, maybe it's not such a good idea that he's pretending to be Angel lurking about in the shadows. But the damage is gonna be done anyway, he's gonna want to know. Cause Wes always wants to know, hates mysteries. Especially when they involve me and Angel. Not in the Angel and me sneaking around way, but in the 'anything that could hurt us' way.

My anger isn't going anywhere while I listen to him. I mean, seriously, come on now. What did he think? That he was gonna fuck me and then I'd magically change? What? Did he really think that? And what's this about my not respecting or care about a thing he says? Who's arranged the safe flight for him? Who's been covering his ass whenever Wes got to worried when he was out? Who's been making sure we get paid so we don't starve? Who's kept the vision *just* so she could help out the big hero? Who sits back home worrying herself sick when he's out fighting?

It wasn't Buffy! That much is sure.

"Because you totally haven't been bitching at everything I said, have you?" I snip at him, "And cause you have totally not been going out of your way to do exactly the opposite of what I suggested have you? You knew me before you we went further Angel. Or did you just wake up one morning and realized I was a bitch? Huh?" Ugh! He acts like I've suddenly changed overnight or whatever.

By now I barely notice Wes standing there, though maybe I should. Cause he's doing that slinking father into the shadows thing again. But this is between Angel and me, he shouldn't be here. Wes shouldn't be here. That sounds so wrong. Man, this threesome thing is hard work. Sighing, I let Angel touch me, though the urge to just pull away is so very there. Cause I'm mad, so I should be careful with the reflexy stuff.

"I love you, Angel, but you're a real *Jackass* sometimes. Cause you know what, Angel? You've said nothing you shouldn't have already known about me. Except for the whole my not respecting and geeze... *caring* about you. For that remark I should just shove my prada up your butt. Who do you think you are? I have ..." The Visions. For you. Not a good thing to say. But he's my anchor, he's the one I want them for-- at first. He's the...

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes s1 looking down blue shirtwatcher_pryce on January 27th, 2008 08:27 pm (UTC)
The Wes stuff? What-- What about me? Angel's been favoring me? Why? I'm so confused, why would he do that? If anyone he should be favoring Cordelia. I no one special. I never get any favoring, or extra attention. And to my shame I can't say I've actually noticed him doing it. But Cordelia must have and that's why she's angry. Does she-- does she think Angel loves me more then he does her?

Oh god. That's not good. Why would she think that? Can't she see the way he looks at her? His next words may be meant to soothe Cordelia but when I listen closely to them there's surge of pain going through me. So if she's all that, then-- consequently I'm not. Does he indeed seem me as some weak pathetic creature, another victim he's supposed to protect? Is that it?

Of course we know Cordelia does what she wants. She's always done that, that's what makes her Cordelia. She gets what she wants, even though she's changed her way on *how* to get what she wants. Ever since the vocah she's changed even more. Seeing the suffering of the world isn't something you'll forget so easily I imagine. Doesn't mean she's drastically changed.

Angel's right though. And he's wrong. Cordelia does need him, she needs him more then he can ever think. I can read between the lines, though it's nothing new to realize that they both know *I* need them. I do need them, which is why I'm suddenly very afraid. Very afraid. Enough that the world is starting to spin and I have to grab hold of the wall.

Especially when it seems to me that neither of them is listening to the other. Same old story I suppose, but I never realized until now how big a problem that really is. Not listening, and not realizing how something makes the other feel. I should lock them up in a room together and loose the key for a few days. Maybe that'll help.

"That's enough. From both of you," I say loud enough as I step out of the shadows. I'll have to think about what Angel said about me, later. Not that he said it directly, but reading between the lines is becoming my specialty. "Neither of you is listening to a word the other says. Please don't do this to each other." Don't do this to me. "Look, let's just go home and talk there. Alright?" I say, strangely enough in a tone that leaves no argument and surprises even myself.
Keep Me: ang training/glare_keep_me on January 28th, 2008 04:40 am (UTC)
Her anger hits me full force and I feel like I need to step back, she's that furious at me. And I don't think she's heard a word I said. She just looks at me accusingly like no one is ever supposed to argue with her.

And that's the thing, she thinks she's this bitch, but she's not. I've seen her be sweet, I've seen her take care of Wes, but does she do that with me? No. She pulls out the bitch attitude and acts like nothing's going to hurt me or her, especially if it comes out of her mouth.

I'm tired of being treated like crap for no reason! She doesn't do it to Wes! She practically treats the guy like he's glass when we all know he's the least likely to break of all three of us. I don't get it.

I do step back from her in shock when Wes decides to join the...fun, and his voice rings out, tired but firm. Firmly fed up.

I give Wes a short nod and step away from Cordelia because...if we go another round right now, I think I really might say something I'm going to regret and that would definitely hurt more than just Cordelia or me. Wes has had a hard day, and doesn't look like any of us are in top form.

The car is close so it doesn't take long to get to it and get it started. I don't know if I even want to talk when we get home. Nothing's going to change. And maybe sleeping on it would be best.
Cordelia Chasequeen_cordette on January 28th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC)
And that's a tone of voice I never, ever hope to hear again. Especially not aimed at me, or Angel for that matter. Wes doesn't do angry often, but when he does it's this quiet stormy kind. Where you know an explosion is just waiting to happen and when it does... I hope I never get to watch Wes explode, especially not for something I done. Its bad enough to have Angel looking at me like I'm some kinda bitch who's only out to get *him*.


Anyway, now's not the time to keep on fighting. As much as I'd like to, I have way more class for a shouting contest in the street. This is private business, Wes got a point there. We don't have to become the next big gossip thing in Caritas. Or, as I see several people and demons glancing at us, an even *bigger* gossip thing. Great. This'll be great for our rep, which wasn't much to begin with. Bah.

The sigh that I had planned to push trough my lips becomes a huff as I turn around on the heels of my very fake prada's. Can't afford the real deal these days and that kinda irks me in ways these guys could never get. But we got bigger problems then my shoes now. We got a crisis on our hands and how is it that its Wes who ended up as the peace-maker in this relation ship.

Although, now that I think about it, maybe not so strange. He's the strong one while everyone thinks he's not. And that's the mistake Angel and I both make time and again. Thinking he's not strong, thinking he needs protection, thinking he needs a buffer, thinking-- I'm spending to much time with Wes. To much thinking.

As I slip into the car, it doesn't escape my notice that Wes makes sure to be in the middle, sitting between Angel and I. I keep staring ahead of myself, though there's a bit of relief when I feel Wes' hand on my knee. A glance to the side tells me he's put his other hand on Angel's knee, and that makes me smile inwardly. God, I hope Wes knows what he's doing, cause I sure as heck don't. So lost, so damn lost.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes white shirt glasseswatcher_pryce on January 28th, 2008 05:30 am (UTC)
All it takes is a look after that and they both slink off toward the car. To say that I'm stunned would be an understatement. Stunned that they listened, and stunned that there is a fight going on. Here I was, fool that I am, that everything was going wonderful. Everything *but* me and my big mouth. Is this my fault? Had I been wrong to tell them that sordid story of my past? That's it, isn't it? This is all my fault, wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me.

I have to fix this, but how?

With a sigh I run a hand through my hair. My glasses somehow ended up in my hands where they're were being polished ferociously. Any longer and the lenses might've come out. I quickly push them up my nose and make my way after Cordelia and Angel, neither of them in much of a hurry to get into the car. Lovely, now they don't even want to sit next to each other? What is *wrong* with these two?

The drive home is quiet and tense, not at all the mood one would expect of a group who's just been given a free holiday to Hawaii. Cordy was so happy about that. Angel wasn't. I wonder why that was as well. Maybe that's what triggered it? I can try to figure this out until I'm blue in the face. Unless these two talk I'll never do, not really.

So when we arrive home, I briskly walk into the apartment and point toward the sofa. I can tell from the looks on their faces that they don't want to talk. Well, tough luck for both of them. I've had it up to here with this. How could I not see how serious this was? Damn.

"Sit down, both of you. Now I want to know what in the bloody hell is going on here. I don't want any finger pointing, I don't want any 'but she did or he did', I don't want any accusations. I want to know what the problem is. And when one of you talks, the other shuts up. Got that? Good. Angel? You start. Dennis? Could you get Cordelia and I some water and Angel some blood? Thank you."
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on February 10th, 2008 03:54 am (UTC)
Wes is all business the minute we get back to the apartment. Everything about this makes me want to go disappear into the shadows, but Wes and Cordy look so lost... I wave Dennis off on the blood. I can't drink right now.

"So..." I steeple my hands together. I really don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk at all. I want us to just get on the damn plane and make Cordy happy. That's what I do. I protect Cordy and I make her happy, that's all. That's all she's ever wanted from me and now there's...this.

"Look, I-" It's a false start, I can't figure out what to say or how to say it or if any of this is going to make sense. "I used to be your employer, the both of you. But you know, this is different." Obviously, great way to start off, Angel. "We're all equals and- There's no- You and Cordy always got along, and I kept to myself," to keep from getting too close, "and now there's me smushed into the equation, and-" I don't think I fit. "you two have this code, where you understand each other and-"

"And I don't. Wes, I can figure out sometimes, because we're guys but Cordy, I- Earlier, I wasn't- Forget it," I mumble running my hands over my face and knowing that this isn't going to make any sense and it makes me sound petty or stupid or something. I don't give the orders any more, I don't have them asking what we should do here in this relationship. Job things, sure I'm still kind of the leader, but here, back home, things get muddled. I don't know where I fit or if I fit.

Cordelia's the one setting up the nest, ordering us around, telling us what she wants and what she thinks we need to do, and...I'm not used to that. It's a reflex to just do the opposite of what she wants when she gets into these kinds of moods where she'd try to order me around at the office. Can't do that here, as it turns out.

And...I really was worried about them. About a trap. They weren't they ones watching them in those hospital beds. They didn't have to run off and fight and leave someone else at their bedsides. The don't have to worry about protecting me. But after that? I worry all the time. They could walk out that door and never come back. Just to go to the supermarket! They don't even have to be fighting demons and someone could come after them because they want to get to me. Yeah, maybe it sounds like it's all about me, but it's really all about them. I know it could happen to anyone just crossing the street, but these two have it extra bad. There's a second noose around their necks just because they love me.

"I don't think you're a bitch, Cordy," I say finally, looking over at her carefully. "What you said earlier...I don't think of you like that. You're the first friend I had in L.A.," who didn't die, "and I...don't want that to change," I say looking down at my hands.

Yeah, I know she's got her walls and her vanity, but once she came to L.A. and nosed her way into my office with that look that said protect me and I'll be your friend for life? I never thought of her as a bitch again. I don't think of her that way so when it comes out really bluntly, I guess it surprises me. Not unless I was face to face with it. Like we have been lately. Close quarters, tough situations and she's been keeping those bitch walls up fiercely. Wes lets me in. Cordy...it's never going to happen, I guess.
Cordelia Chase: Moi?queen_cordette on February 10th, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC)
Its kinda not funny how Angel and me both sit on the other side of the couch, looking for all the world like sulking kids. Yeah, but seriously, he's hurt me real bad. And I can't wait to hear what he has to say, cause this had better be good. He's making it sound like this is all my fault and like I've been treating him totally differently since-- since what? Since we became more then friends?

I so didn't. Still the same old Cordy. I was a big bitch back in high school and I'm still a bitch. Might have mellowed down a bit, thanks to the guys, but I'm still a bitch. How come he doesn't get that? He's kinda acting like this is totally new for him. Jackass.

"We have a code? What the--" I interrupt and then shrink into my corner when Wes gives me a look that makes me feel like I *am* back in high school. Whoa. If he ever looked that way to Faith and Buffy they would've done what he said. No questions asked. Wes can totally get his point across with just a look if he wants to.

I murmur a thanks to Dennis when he floats over the glass over water. Looks like Wes made an impression there too, cause there's blood for Angel as well. Heh. Now that is kinda funny. The rest of Angel's explanation? So not. Especially not when he says we should forget it. Wes turns The Look at Angel before I can even get my bristles up. He's on a roll-- now if only I can figure out what to say when it's my turn.

"I am a bitch," I tell him bluntly when he's done. "Ask Wes, when we do 'our code'" and yeah, that so totally deserves quotations, "When we bicker. I am a bitch. But he knows that I don't mean it half the time. I don't understand why you don't get that. Heck, you've known me longer then Wes has and since we got together you're kinda acting like I'm some strange girl you have to get to know all over. I don’t know why you feel left out, cause we didn’t do anything to make you feel that way, did we? Ugh! This stinks."

I'd cross my arms over my chest in a real sulk, but I'm better then that. Instead I sigh and sip my water while my eyes flick from Wes to Angel and back again. I don't get it, I really don't get it. What's his friggen problem? He's the one who's always put himself on the outside. And now we want to pull him in it's like he's struggling all the way. Except when Wes does it. Cause he's a guy. What does that mean anyway! He's a guy. Pfffft. “I’m still his friend, why does he think I’m not his friend no more? I’m *more* then his friend!”
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes s1 looking down blue shirtwatcher_pryce on February 10th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
He feels left out? Why-how? I thought I'd done everything I could to-to divide my time equally between the two. And yet he feels left out? Because Cordelia and I have some sort of code? What utter nonsense is that? Where does he get this idea? Was it something Cordelia and I have done? We've barely even bickered in days, which I really miss now that I think about it. That's something between Cordelia and I. Just like Angel and I have our own little things. We're not allowed to have these little things between each other? Is that it?

"Sometimes," I murmur thoughtfully. He can figure me out *sometimes*. Because I'm a guy? He can't figure out Cordelia, a two-hundred and something old vampire, can't figure out a woman? If that's the case then there's very little hope for he rest of the male population is there? This- this makes no sense. I'm still stuck on Angel feeling left out. If he feels left out, then we must be doing something to make him feel that way.

Sighing, I keep pacing back and forth in front of them, waving at Cordelia to have her say when it's obvious Angel's done. When did this start? Everything was working out fine until-- Until I had to open my big mouth. Did I lean more on Cordelia then I did on Angel? I can't remember if I did, everything about that night is more then a blur to me. What if I did, what if him feeling left out is my fault? What if Cordelia was extra bitchy to get her feelings under control and I wasn't there to play her- catcher and she did her sneering toward Angel instead?

This is all my fault. Somehow this has to be my fault. It's *always* my fault. They wont tell me that though, I know them better. So instead they tear up each other. Is that it? No, that makes no sense either. Angel feels left out. Why? I stop pacing and glance at them both when Cordelia gets agitated, giving her another look. She sighs, and sips her water.

"Drink your blood, Angel," I order him in no uncertain terms. I don't care what he thinks, having blood inside him will make him feel better. I know it, and so does he. "So what it comes down to is that Angel feels left out, and thinks there's-- I'm not really sure what he's thinking other then that he feels left out. And that he feels Cordelia's been favoring me, though he's admitted to doing the same."

Yes, I hadn't forgotten about that. And that omission gets them both a painfully embarrassed look while I resume my pacing. That is something I’ll never understand. They are so perfect together, why would they pay more attention to *me* then? That makes no sense either. Especially if one considers who they’re paying attention to. A pathetic little cry baby who, apparently, evokes nothing but their ‘protect me’ signals. I don’t want them to protect me, I want them to love me.

"Cordelia thinks she's still a-- Bitch, which is only half true. She says she hasn't changed but seems to think that Angel keeps thinking she has? Angel's afraid of loosing her as a friend, which brings up the question if you two want to be friends or if you want to be more to each other."

Another sigh gets out as I pause my pacing. "So here's what we'll do. Since I'm obvious in the middle of this-- mess, I'm going back to my apartment," I tell them, leaving very little room for arguments. "I'll call our client and ask him to get us two rooms, one for me, one for the both of you. Then you two go and figure out what it is you two want from each other before you even think about coming to me." It hurts, it hurts a lot. But if I stay here, they'll keep using me as a buffer and get no where. In the end, who will they resent, who will they hate for getting into this relation ship and feeling as though they were forced?

Not each other, that much I do know.

"I'm going to pack," I mutter, turning around on the balls of my feet and stalking off toward the bedroom. "Dennis, where did you put my suitcase?"
Keep Me: ang please_keep_me on February 10th, 2008 08:07 pm (UTC)
I make a frustrated noise when Cordelia responds, but there's a look from Wes that says it's not my turn to talk. That's not what I meant, I mean, I- I try to sip my blood since Dennis set it firmly next to me anyway, but it just doesn't taste right or feel right and I don't know how to say what I'm feeling and it's not coming out right at all.

"No!" Is my automatic response when Wes says he's leaving. "Wait, Wes, please," there it is a second time tonight. "No, look, I'm- I'm not saying this right..." I look down at my hands and then at both of them in turn. "Will you please, wait?" I ask, watching Wes' back, not wanting him to go down that hall or leave this apartment.

"We're all equals now...but we're not. You guys are still looking at me like I'm the big champion guy who's always going to solve everything or know what to do, and you guys are still...you guys. I don't get to be you guys. That's what I meant about a code, like you two see each other as the sidekicks- And I'm not saying saying this right. You two have the same status and I'm the big guy on the pedestal, all indestructible and...alone. I've got stuff too. I'm not indestructible, I've got feelings and worries and sometimes I...just want a hug." I mumble that last bit and move on quickly.

"Which is why I was so resistant to the trip thing. After Vocah..." I can still see them so hurt and frail in those beds and I had to *leave*. "You guys weren't there looking at you in those beds, you guys weren't the ones who barely looked up when you left that day only to see you almost not come back later, you guys were the ones that got hurt because you love me. They went through you first and that hasn't happened before. And every time one of you goes out that door, I think you've got one more thing that might make you not come back. So I was worried. That Hawaii was a trap. I'm sorry, I want to go, I just- was worried." I look down at my hands wondering if that made any kind of sense.

"It wasn't because you wanted to go, Cordy, I wasn't trying to shoot down *your* ideas... I want us to work. Friends and more," I say, looking at the two of them and not knowing what else I could possibly say to make any sense of any of this. I don't want to be alone. I want them. I want my family.
Cordelia Chasequeen_cordette on February 11th, 2008 05:32 am (UTC)
Whoa. Wait! Where's he going? "Angel!" I call out, cause he's our go to guy. He's gotta stop Wes! I mean, what's Wes leaving us gonna solve! Other then Angel and me trying to kill each other that is. Cause we're so not getting along all of a sudden. I dunno why that is. I really, really don't. Just know that I need Wes here, and so does Angel.

Which I'm totally about to point out by telling - ordering - Angel to stop him. Even if he has to sit on the skinny dude! Except that I'm suddenly totally wondering what Dennis put in Angel's blood. I give it a suspicious look, then glance at Wes' stiff back and wonder if he told Dennis to put something in Angel's blood. Cause wow, once the guy starts talking, he's like a water fall with no end.

And he sounds like a whiney five year old. Know better then to say that though. Cause, this is Angel, and he's so totally not used to the heart pouring routine. As if *I* am. That's Wes' job! Mine's to make sure we eat, and clean their wounds and keep them on their toes. Angel's big protecty guy who's biggest question is where he's supposed to stick his sword. Wes is touchy feely comfort guy. Probably shouldn't say that either. They'll both be insulted.

Oh boy, he's really on a roll. I'm kinda speechless and-- a bit mad. Why couldn't he just say that right from the start? Why did we have to go through all of this shit, with him playing up and being broody and moody and pissy when all he wanted was a stupid hug?! A hug?! Okay, it's more then a hug, but seriously. A hug?! I guess Wes would frown at me with that look if I were to hit Angel now.

A hug?!

Yeah, back to speechless. And thinking. Cause... Gotta admit, I never thought Angel would need a hug. Metaphorical or otherwise. Even though he so totally was shooting down all my idea's, and so not ever Wes'. He's also seriously not giving us a whole lot of credit, I mean, we would've figured it out if it was a trap! We can take are of ourselves. Sorta.

Ugh. I don't know what to. So yeah, looking like a stupid idiot at Wes again. Cause he's brain guy and he always knows the answers. "He-- wants a hug," I murmur, sounding kinda... stunned. At least he's still saying he wants us to be more then friends. Hugging friends. Geeze, there better be more then hugging.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes glasses blue shirtwatcher_pryce on February 11th, 2008 05:33 am (UTC)
This really is the best option for us. For them. They seem to have issues I can't even begin to understand, and it's best if they solve those issues together. Without me interfering. Without them feeling this need to protect me. Yes, of course I have noticed that. Especially after what happened last night. Their need to weigh each word carefully, keep in mind every action and the reaction, moving around like walking on glass at times.

But maybe, just maybe they're only using me as excuse, because the person they're *really* walking around on eggshells for are Angel and Cordelia themselves. Doesn't that make me feel like a fool? Used again, and they don't even know it. They don't even know they're doing it. And they're also not calling out my name.

It doesn't escape my notice that when Cordelia feels cornered, or threatened, she calls out for Angel. She doesn't call out for me, she calls out for Angel. Wonder if the git notices that as well. Somehow, I doubt it.

I pause, but keep my back turned toward them while they tell me I can't leave. Well, Angel tells me. Cordy, now doubt, is looking at Angel to fix this. There's no fixing this. My leaving for a bit really is the best way to 'fix' this. Although it certainly loosened Angel's tongue. Good lord has it ever. I don't think I've heard him talk this much... I never have, come to think of it.

Blinking, I can feel my back to even more tense. In fact, I'm half expecting Dennis to rattle that bottle of muscle relaxants in front of me. Of course he doesn't, because he's probably watching the whole scene while, if he had any, holding in his breath.

Or with popcorn.

I keep quiet while I slowly turn around. Only to find Cordelia staring at Angel as though he's something or someone she's never seen. Quite frankly, I must say I feel the same. Angel's a hero, he's strong and capable and-and a hero! Yes, of course that doesn't mean he can't have feelings. Quite the contrary. But he's a hero! And if that was his problem, why did it take him so bloody long to say something? He's our hero! Of course we look up at him!

Telling him that both Cordelia and I made our choice to be at his side with both eyes wide open wont do any good. Because I've told him that time and again already. We are grown ups, we can make our own choices. We chose to be at his side, knowing the risks. But somehow I don't think that's the point he's trying to make. Although, if it is, I'm going to hit him over the head with that brick this time.

"He wants a hug," I echo Cordelia's mutter. Though, why she's looking at me as though *I* have all the answers now, I've no idea. "You think we don't see you as a-- person?" I wonder out loud, giving him a thoughtful look. "That we see you as some sort of hulking protector and nothing else?" Then why does he have issues with Cordelia - this is not the first time they're fighting - and not with me?

"Tell me, Angel. Why do you feel comfortable starting a fight with Cordelia, but not with me? Is it because you see Cordelia as someone who's strong enough to call you on it, but... you don't see me as such? Or think I wouldn‘t do that?" I'm thinking he has a different image of whom we are, just as much as we might have of him. Maybe when he sees that, he’ll have a little less of a problem while Cordy and I try to-- come to terms with what he’s told us.

"I'd like the truth please. Both of you already have admitted treating me-- differently."
Keep Me: ang please_keep_me on February 11th, 2008 10:49 pm (UTC)
They're not saying anything, why are they not saying anything? Are they going to laugh? Why don't they just laugh and get it over with. Champions aren't supposed to need hugs, they just do their job and that's the end of it. We aren't-

Okay, now they're just repeating the hug part back and forth to each other. I knew it! They think it's stupid! I shouldn't have said anything.

"I wasn't- I didn't do it on purpose," I tell him, "I mean the fighting with Cordelia, and you were- you had other things on your plate." And of course I treat Wes differently than Cordelia, he's Wes! Even Cordelia treats Wes differently.

"You *are* strong, too strong. You've had to be bullied your whole life, and I don't think you need either of us doing it too. We like protecting you. If we can't do it for one of our then we're not a very good protective service, are we?" I look over at Cordy, hoping I'm going to be getting a little help here, because I have a feeling I'm going to be saying the wrong thing, yet again.

"I mean it's not really protecting, it's just, we care and we want you to be happy. So not really protecting, because you don't need protecting, but nobody's ever watched out for you, you know? Had your back? That sort of protecting. We're there if you need us. Or we want to be?" That definitely gets a look to Cordy for confirmation.

"I definitely think you'd call me on whatever I might be doing wrong... Well, maybe not all the time." He does let me get away with a lot. Because I'm the boss. "But you can. Whenever you want. I don't- Did I answer the question?" I ask not at all sure that I did since I feel like there was a pop quiz in there that I didn't know about. But, umm... Oh man, what was I supposed to say?
Cordelia Chase: lonely where you arequeen_cordette on February 12th, 2008 05:49 am (UTC)
Wait. Whoa! Moving to fast here. One moment we're 'Angel wants a hug', and the next we're moving back to treating Wes different? And yeah! He totally has a point! Why does Angel feel like he can start a fight with me but not with Wes? Which, okay, is kinda like kicking an already beaten up puppy when you think about it to much, but still. Wes can handle himself! Right?

I think.

"Protecting service," I nod when Angel stumbles through an explanation. "Yeah. And you had a lot on your mind what with the whole..." sex at an early age. Wes had sex at a very early age, who'd have thought? Not that he enjoyed it, or you know, wanted to... Okay, not thinking about that now. So not the point. What is the point he's trying to make here anyway? So not getting it.

Of course Angel and I treat Wes differently. He's Wes! What more reason do we need? It's like the only thing we seem to agree on so far. So I'm nodding along with what Angel's trying to tell Wes, cause it's true. We do protect Wes. A lot. We do get protecty a lot now that I think about it. Huh.

"You call me on crap lots of time. Way to many times actually, but hey..." I know Angel thinks it just bickering, but a lot of times its Wes calling me on my crap. While I defend myself and he calls me on that right back. And I so seen him call Angel on his shit too! Not that Angel listens, like... ever. He's starting to now I think.

"And with the whole bully thing and all... It's ... yeah...So totally what he said," I conclude firmly, nodding at Angel.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes glasses looking down S2watcher_pryce on February 12th, 2008 05:50 am (UTC)
When they both start to talk, I pull of my glasses and pinch the bridge of my nose. If only they could hear what they're saying themselves. Then they'd know the root of the problem right then and there. It's so simple really, when you think about it. Getting them to see it that way, is anything but simple though.

To hear them say thinks like that, about myself, that's hard. So they do see me as something, a pathetic creature that needs to be protected at all times? And at the same time they're telling me I'm strong? How very contradicting, do they even realize they're doing that? But it's not about me, it was just something I wanted to use as an example. No matter how painful.

"Actually, Angel, you just answered your own question," I tell them quietly when they're done talking themselves into a corner. Sighing, I push my glasses back on my nose and cross my arms in front of me. My eyes move from Angel to Cordelia to a spot that's somewhere in the middle of them.

"When you first met me, back in Sunnydale? You thought I was nothing but a spoiled little rich boy who'd come to commandeer everyone around. If you noticed me at all," I add, glancing briefly at Angel.

"And then we met again here, in Los Angeles, I was the chap who'd look things up in books. It was only after month's of my being here before you even thought about helping me with some weapons training. And helping Cordelia for that matter. But you did."

Another sigh gets out while I try to put my thoughts into something for me to say that makes sense to them. "But before this evening, neither of you knew anything about my past. Nothing at all, and yet you treated me as though I was made out of spun glass. And that is something that would have never, ever happened to that fellow you met in Sunnydale."

Once more I glance from Cordelia to Angel, wondering if I'm making any sense here. "What I'm trying to show you both is that changes happen. But they happen gradually. Cordelia's no longer the-- vixen she was in Sunnydale, but it's still part of her. Angel's no longer the vampire who's dating a Slayer, though it'll always be part of him. It didn't happen overnight, it took time. And growing into this relation ship will take time as well, you're both expecting to much, too soon. From each other, though apparently not from me."

Which is strange, but there you have it.

"So I'm back to my original plan. You two need to spend some time together. Without me, because you're both using me as a distraction and that's not going to get either of us anywhere." And how strange is it to talk about *yourself* in such a way. That'll come back to bite me in the arse, I'm sure. Later. Much later, when I'm not around them for them to see.

Edited at 2008-02-12 01:14 pm (UTC)
Keep Me: ang please_keep_me on February 16th, 2008 02:48 am (UTC)
The vampire who's dating a Slayer? Is that how they saw me? Is that all I was? There's a small inner frown at his words, and I wonder where that observation has come from. But that's neither here nor there.

I sneak a look over at Cordy to see if she's noticing the way that Wes isn't looking at either of us. Why is he doing this? He thinks we expect too much, but not from him? Does he think we look down on him? Does he think he did this? He's a distraction? What? Well, of course, he's a distraction, he's Wes and he's hot, sweet, funny, and the most caring guy I'll probably ever know.

"This *isn't* your fault, Wes. You didn't do this," I say, brow knitted in confusion, glancing worriedly at Cordelia, clearly saying 'help me here!' "I want time with Cordelia, but I want time with you too. If we're going to grow into this relationship with the *three* of us," I say pointedly, "then we need to do it all together, don't you think?" I say, quietly, wondering if he's really thought this through of if he's doing that silly falling on his sword thing like he likes to do.

"And you're not going back to your apartment," I say with what I hope is a firm tone, because if he leaves and goes back to his empty place, he's either going to figure out that he can do just fine without us, or he's going to send himself into a dark, brooding place that would rival even my broods. Which aren't broods, but that's not the point

"Wes, you don't have to do this," I murmur softly, again glancing worriedly at Cordelia. She knows I don't do this talking thing right. She'd better jump in. I mean, maybe he's got a point with the two rooms at the hotel so that people don't start to get nosy with the 'threesome' going on, but still. Maybe we could get our own little beach house and not have to stay *in* the hotel. That would be nicer and we'd be able to get away from the poltergeist thing... But- Bigger fish to fry here, Angel.
Cordelia Chase: Lose Itqueen_cordette on February 16th, 2008 03:44 pm (UTC)
The huh with the what now? So getting very confused here. Even though, yeah okay he has a point. Heck, all I thought was about Angel was the he wasted his salty goodness time on that stupid Buffy. Till I found out he was a vampire, which ewwww...at that time. And Wes? Yeah, he was the, I thought, rich boy I used to rub stuff into Xander's face with. Wow, now that I look back, I was a total bitch. And so, so young.

Geeze. When Wes is making a point, he's making a point isn't he? Except the part where he seems to be blaming him. That I don't like. "Aw, Wes," I murmur when he keeps like-- He's putting himself down. Sounding like he-- Yeah, he sounds like he was when he first came here. No, not like he first came here. He was eager to please puppy then. He's so much further then that, but he's *still* blaming himself. Dammit!

"If there's anyone not to blame its you, Wes," I tell him, looking at Angel with a frown. Did he actually get the point Wes was trying to make? Seems our vampire broody guy is focusing on Wes not leaving. I'm all for that-- but Wes may have a point. "It's Angels fault," I tell him, "and-and mine." Ow, that hurt. No, really, that kinda hurt.

And that's enough with the point having. He's not leaving! He's not well enough! And-and what are Angel and I supposed to do without him? Huh? Huh? I share a worried look with Angel, kinda wondering what scares me more. Being alone with Angel and finding out we don't-- work. Or being here without Wes. Or, you know. both. Probably both.

"You're not well enough to be on your own yet," I add to Angel's almost command that Wes so isn't leaving. "You don't even take your medication and stuff. "You're not leaving, okay." So there. With both Angel and I doing our alpha thing? Wes totally has no choice. He's Wes, I need him. Angel needs him. Not just as our referee, he's like our balance guy.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Glasses thoughtfullwatcher_pryce on February 16th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
The moment they open their mouths, I can tell I still haven't gotten my point across. Aren't they listening to a word I say? Am I wasting my breath here? Why won't they listen? My leaving them right now really is starting to sound more and more the best way to deal with this. With them.

A sad smile slips out when they both tell me it's not my fault. We all know differently, of course, but it's nice of them to try. Though, one has to wonder why exactly they don't want me to leave. To afraid to only have each other to deal with? Without myself in the middle? Or do they truly not want *me* to leave?

Doesn't matter right now. They are. They need to work things out between each other. And if they still do not get that after all I've said? Then this really is the only option left. Maybe this vacation will turn out to be a godsend, the two of them spending time together elsewhere might do the trick.

I'm almost tempted to stay here in Los Angeles. Especially considering we'll have to... fly to get there.

"Dennis? If you please?" I ask, glancing up into the empty air. I hope there's at least one being around here who only needs half a word. The sounds of the closet opening and closing in the bedroom gives me hope.

"Neither of you have listened to a word I said," I tell them quietly, aborting the gesture of pulling my glasses off. Again. "Which tells me more then any of your words will. Cordelia and I work, Angel and I work, but-- you two. You have a problem," I murmur, nodding my thanks as Dennis drops my bag down at my feet.

"You two need to work out those problems, figure out what you both want or need from the other. And you don't need me for that. Not as a distraction," whether they realize they're using me as such or not doesn't matter now.

"I most certainly have no intention to play the role of referee this relation ship. I will see you both at the airport tomorrow evening," I tell them. Picking up my bag, I walk past them. Giving first Cordelia, then Angel a kiss to the forehead before heading over to the front door. "I love you *both*," I say softly, opening the door, "please don't ever let it get so far that I have to choose. Because I wont do it. I'll see you both tomorrow."
Keep Me: ang curious_keep_me on February 18th, 2008 10:21 pm (UTC)
No, no. No, no, no. He is not walking out of here! And damn Dennis for helping him! I glare at the suitcase I see float toward Wes. Yeah, Dennis, that one's for you.

I'm too shocked that he actually thinks he's going to leave and be alone and have us figure out how this is not working. "Wes," I murmur in protest when he kisses my forehead and then Cordelia's. He makes a fine tragic figure, but that's really not what either Cordelia and I want.

And I just can't sit here and watch him leave. "Wes, wait," I say, vampire speed getting me between him and that door. "Wes, you didn't cause this and you're not to blame for it. You're not some distraction, we love you," I say, glancing over Wes' shoulder at Cordelia for confirmation.

"Cordy and I... will work this out. You don't have to play referee, but you don't have to disappear. You're part of this relationship. It's either three or nothing. I think- I think you forgot to mention the change where we all fell in love with each other. We grew into that too, and we'll grow into this. You-" I put a hand on his shoulder in a feeble effort to get him to stay without really using force.

"We want you here. You don't think we're going to be not thinking about you the whole time we're trying to figure this out do you? That's one thing we do agree on, that we need you with us too. We're not separate from you, and we're not going to be once Cordy and I figure this out. It's not going to be an overnight thing, or a vacation thing. There's going to be bumpy spots..." I trail off, feeling like I'm just throwing words at the inevitable.

"You know I'm no good at change. I drive a car from a different decade and think like a guy from a different century. If we can't all work together then it's not going to work. I mean, sitting out one round isn't going to help anything. We're all going to be referee at some point, I think..." Don't go back to that apartment, Wes, I say, looking into those blue eyes. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. I don't know who I'm supposed to please here, but I know I want them both to be here and to stay here. "Please stay."
Cordelia Chase: OMGqueen_cordette on February 19th, 2008 05:25 am (UTC)
"Dennis!" I scowl up in the air when I hear the stupid ghost pack Wes' bag. I know he didn't like the boys much at first but now he's on their side?! Or well, Wes' side in this case. Or maybe he's just glad to get rid of one of them? Either way, he's so totally going to regret it! Wes isn't leaving, no matter how much of a drama queen he is about it. Besides that, there's only room for one drama queen in this relation ship, and the kings aren't it!

And he's still leaving? Wait, whoa, no, no. That so is not of the happening. Wes can't leave! I know, I know he has a point. I know I use him as a distraction sometimes when Angel annoys me to no end. When I get frustrated with Angel, I use Wes as a distraction as well. Yeah. That's true. And funny thing? Both Angel and I do usually listen when Wes says something, or tells us to shut up.

Makes you wonder just who's in charge here really doesn't it? I mean, look at us? Angel and I are about freaking out cause Wes says he's leaving. Not leaving the relation ship, god no. I hope fucking well not! But leaving us for a bit so we can work things out and we're doing the freaking thing.

Would it really be so bad for me to spend time alone with Angel? If Angel's frantic reaction is anything to go by? Spending time alone with me is all kinds of bad for him. Huh. He's still focusing on the threesome thing, but missing the point.

Anyway, Wes isn't leaving. So with Angel standing in front of ex-watcher guy, giving him a speech. I get up slow and move behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. Holding on, stopping him from going even though I know deep down that it might actually be for the best. Angel can't stand the thought of being alone with me, so Wes can't go. Can't go and brood himself into a depression. Just so not.

"Don't leave, Wes," I say in a voice that's unusually quiet. "I know Angel and I need to work things out. And yeah, maybe we- I have been using you as a distraction." Not gonna talk for Angel, even though he so was doing the same. "And maybe you did play referee more often then not okay? Cause you're just gonna go back to your place and brood in the dark and drink yourself into a stupor and blaming yourself and for all we know you could, I dunno-- do some stupid Wes like thing." Yeah, okay, dramatic maybe, but if it stops him from leaving? I can so tack onto that.

Edited at 2008-02-19 05:25 am (UTC)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes sulk s2watcher_pryce on February 19th, 2008 05:26 am (UTC)
Damn vampire speed! That's really not fair. Really not fair at all. I sigh and glance up at Angel tiredly, wondering what more he can say to convince me I *shouldn't* be leaving. I'm rather disappointed that when he does open his mouth he's not telling me anything he hasn't told me mere minutes ago. He's still not getting the bloody point! Why is he not getting the point I'm trying to make!

"There will be no 'three of us' if you and Cordy don't work out this crap between you. It has nothing to do with me, except for the fact that you're using me," I explain him. Again. This time a little more annoyance in my voice. "Why can things work between you and I, and between Cordy and I, but not between you and---"

What the... "Cordy," I murmur when a pair of arms wraps around my waist. Great. Now I have a brooding vampire pleading in front of me, and a demanding seer wrapped around me. Doing what they do best. Exerting their alpha status. And that, I think, is the whole problem. They're both wanting to be the boss and that's not going to work until they figure things out.

And Cordelia's speech isn't really doing anything to make me change my mind. Though-- she's probably right. Except for the drinking part. I don't drink that heavily! And certainly not when we have a job to do tomorrow. "Stupid Wes like-- what?" I blurt, blinking first at Angel and then over my shoulder at Cordelia before shifting a bit on my feet.

"Look, you both want to be in charge. You're both--" I wave one hand around in frustration while looking for the right words. And how odd is when Cordy's still wrapped around me and Angel's doing his looming thing. "--So bloody-- Alpha, that it's going to influence this relation ship. Either you two work this out, *separate*, or there wont be a relation ship at all. This is a problem *you two* have. Not I. *If* I stay here, I'm going to the guest room right now and stay there until it's time to leave for the... airport."

Oh yes. Lovely. So I can work myself into a frenzy about *that* on my own. Brilliant plan, Pryce. Maybe Cordy had a point about getting drunk. It's starting to sound splendidly good about now.
Keep Me: ang losing sleep_keep_me on February 19th, 2008 12:58 pm (UTC)
"Stupid Wes like sitting a dark corner and not coming with us to Hawaii," I say when Wes looks so surprised that we think he might do something stupid. I don't really like the way he says we're just using him, or he's just some distraction, but I get it. We're not focusing on us and we're focusing on him. But-- He needed to be focused on! Try explaining that to Wes and not have it sound like we treat him like a child.

"It's *going* to work," I say, looking from Wes to Cordelia and giving Cordelia a long look. I do want to get this sorted out and I don't care if it's alone or with Wes, but we had to get Wes to stay. I just hope it didn't look like I was trying not to be alone with her. "I know it's going to," I murmur, still looking at her.

"Guest room sounds alright." I glance at Cordy to see if she agrees. Better him under the same roof than alone in that dark apartment drinking. Because we both know he will. "And Cordy and I will get things figured out," I murmur, closing the door that's behind me and taking Wes' suitcase from his hand. Like I'm going to fall for him giving in easily only to have him rush out the door when I step aside.

How cute does it look to have Cordy wrapping her arms around Wes though. Too bad we're not all going to be in bed together tonight. Because this might take awhile.

Slipping out from our little sandwich, I take the suitcase to the guest room and then come back to get my blood that I didn't finish. Patiently, I wait for Cordy, and wonder where we should start. And if we should stay out here or go in the bedroom. Maybe getting away from Wes' hearing might be a good idea...
Cordelia Chase: Eyebrowraisequeen_cordette on February 19th, 2008 04:07 pm (UTC)
He's gotta stay, he's gotta stay and geeze, so not liking the way he says we're using him. Considering what he's confessed to us a few hours ago? Definitely not liking how that sounds. We're gonna have to talk about that too. But I know Wes isn't gonna be talking about that until Angel and I sort things out. Angel's who's doing the intense staring thing. I swear, these two? They got eyes and looks that can make you shiver in several kinda ways. Seriously.

I keep looking at Angel when he so vehemently tells us it's gonna work out. I just wish I could shake that feeling he only doesn't want Wes to go cause he doesn't want to be alone with me. And maybe I should stop kidding myself, cause being with Angel without Wes... Yeah, kinda makes me weary too. Cause Wes got a point. We both wanna be the boss, and Angel's not letting me be the boss. Wes doesn't care, and strangely enough, he'll get his way if he wants to. Angel and me? We're always wanting to be the top dog.

Maybe that *is* our problem.

I sigh as Angel finally gets Wes' suitcase away from him, making sure silly Watcher guy doesn't go anywhere. Okay, not having a suitcase wouldn't stop Wes, I know, I know. He could still like...sneak out if he wanted to. I don't think he will though. Hope. No, no he wont. All he does is look at me, and then at Angel when he returns. Wes shows us he's pretty much the best drama queen at the moment when he lets out this long suffering sigh, gives us both the sad blue puppy dog eyes of doom and slouches over to the guestroom without a word.

Shrugging I walk over to the sofa, picking up my glass of water and sit down where I was sitting before. This time I kick my heels off and pull my legs on the sofa. Maybe I should change, get comfortable, cause I get a feeling we're not gonna solve this before our flight tomorrow. Hope we can sleep some on that plane.

"I guess he sure told us, huh?" I murmur, looking over at Angel while he sips his blood. I didn't leave any booze in the guestroom, did I? Eh, don't remember. Crap.
Keep Me: ang losing sleep_keep_me on February 24th, 2008 02:20 am (UTC)
I walk back over to the sofa with her, but don't sit down right away. I mean, where am I supposed to sit? Next to her? That's probably too familiar, and if I sit on the other end of the couch, she'll think I don't want to be near her. I could sit in one of the chairs so I can actually see her face, but that seems really distant and--

I can't decide so I just stay standing, holding my mug of blood to drink so that I'll have something to do. "Yeah, he sure did," I say finally, looking at her guiltily. I know this is my fault, but that doesn't mean I know what to do or say about it.

My first instinct is to talk about Wes, but that's...pretty much exactly what he said about us using him as a distraction, isn't it?

"So...what do we do?" I say, fingers drumming against the side of my mug. I keep telling myself to not pace, but umm, it looks like I'm doing it anyway. Damn.

Part of me wants to say something flip like, 'do we flip a coin over who gets to be in charge? Do we let Wes be in charge like he seems to be without realizing it?' I don't say anything though, instead I listen carefully in the direction of the guest room without letting on that I'm listening. It doesn't sound like Wes is moving much, and he must be miserable in there waiting for us to figure this out, which I don't know how we're going to do...
Cordelia Chase: Calm zenqueen_cordette on February 25th, 2008 05:15 am (UTC)
Talk about awkward. Okay, Angel awkward. Why is he not sitting down? Do I have cooties or something? That it? He just keeps pacing up and down and I'm this close to pointing out he's gonna wear a hole in my carpet. And if he does he's so gonna pay for it too! That was expensive stuff you know. Then again, with all the demon gore we walk in, I'm gonna need a new one anyway.

So.very.much not the topic, Cordy. Wes is gonna be really pissed if he found out we've been talking about carpets and other shit like that. We're supposed to be talking about this problem Angel and I have. Or to be more exact, what this friggen problem is we have. He has. I have. Not sure if it's the same problem. I just know that Angel's treating me as if he expects me to hug him every time and-- I dunno-- that's not me.

It's not him either. Wes? Yeah, the guys just screams pussy from time to time and you just wanna hug him. Heck, I had that back at Sunnydale already and boy that was a shocker. Angel? He's our protector, he's our rock, he's our-- He's *ours* and I'm not sure if he can handle being *ours*. He's kind of a loner, and maybe that's his problem? I dunno!

"So how about you sit down for a start," I finally say after following his broody paciness for like five minutes. "I don't have cooties do I? And if you don't sit down I'm gonna hurl cause you're making me dizzy, Angel" I add with a sigh, patting the cushions next to me.

"We gotta talk about this, not just cause Wes is gonna kill us if we don't. But because I want this to work, and I'm kinda hoping you would to, Angel. I love you, but that's not enough apparently is it?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at him while I keep sipping my water. Could do with some coffee right now though. Heck, even Wes' tea might work.
Keep Me: ang curious_keep_me on March 3rd, 2008 04:24 am (UTC)
I nod when she finally tells me to sit down. It's actually took her longer than I expected. Huh. So I sit down next to her, kinda...at an angle so I can see her better. I don't want to miss anything or misinterpret anything.

"Why?" I blurt out. She never did say before. There was a vision right after Wes and I took turns telling why we liked each other and Cordy. "I mean the loving me part," I say, hand reaching toward her to rest on her calf where she's tucked her legs up under her. Like she's still young and naive and waiting for someone to fix this for her. I wonder if she still thinks like that sometimes? Or did she ever? Cordy's always been independent. I should know.

"I don't doubt that you do, I just... We didn't get to hear it from you before... and I'm still curious, because like I said, I don't know what I am to you." Sometimes it seems like I could be her big brother if I just let her boss me around all the time. Like she doesn't need anybody. But I think she needs us, I just...don't know for sure. I mean I want to be there for her, but if she's going to trust me to do that, then I want to be able to trust that I can need her too. Because I think I do. I really think I do.

I know Wes does, and that's just one more reason why this has to work.
Cordelia Chase: Angel Cordyqueen_cordette on March 3rd, 2008 05:26 am (UTC)
"Why?" I ask, giving him a strange look. Why do I love him? Or why do I keep saying it... cause I've said it a few times now. Geeze, sometimes I wonder what the hell his problem is. First he doesn't want Wes or me to say it, now he wants to know why. And hey, you know what? I'm not the one with words like Wes is. Only when they need someone to be blunt then I'm your gal.

Yeah, the more he talks, the more he kinda pisses me off again. I guess that-- I don't know why that is. Now, after we like screwed each others brains out a few times he has to know why? Yeah okay, the whole Wes thing came in-between but I have to wonder if he'd asked even then. I guess I'll never know.

"What the hell do you mean you don't know what you are to me. You're like-- stupid or something? Come off it, Angel, I know you're not stupid. Dense at times, despite what Wes says, but I know you're not stupid. You think I just go around fucking with people who mean shit all to me? That it?" Like some kinda whore? Yeah, okay, there was Wilson but... Totally different.

"Why the fuck is it so hard for you to get," I say, my voice surprisingly calm, "that I love you cause you're *Angel*. And what makes you think I love you for any different reason then Wes does? Cause you think I'm a bitch who doesn't need no one? You know, if that's the case, think again Angel. Where have you been this last year? Haven't you been paying attention *at* all?" Like the many time I called out for him, needed his help, sorta clung onto him.

"Lemme ask you this, Angel. Why do you think I *don't* love you? Why do you keep insisting that I'm only in this for Wes and I'm only accepting you cause Wes wants it. Do you really think a selfish bitch like me would take that without question?"
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on March 8th, 2008 02:22 am (UTC)
"Cordy-" I try to start when she looks at me so funny and then goes right off. On her own little track. Okay, so I guess those words could be misunderstood. And they are. Because that's completely not what I meant.

"That's not what I meant," I say, giving her ankle a squeeze where my hand is resting. "I *know* I'm lovable. I *know* you love me, I just meant...what is it..." alright, well, now this just sounds like I'm asking for compliments or like I'm vain or something. "Is it just because I'm the muscle and I can protect you guys? Because Wes can do that. You don't *need* me, if that's the case," I say, looking at her searchingly.

"I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass, Cordelia," I say first before she can give me that look that I know is going to say, 'Oh man are you stupid.' "You're the one who keeps saying you're a bitch. And that I don't trust you to take care of things. So...it doesn't really seem like you need me, unless there's some kind of apocalypse, and well...everybody else needs me for that too. Should I jump into bed with them too?"

"*Do* you love me for the same reasons as Wes?" Which isn't to say that's a bad thing, but it seems a bit...strange? That I might make them both feel safe and wanted when they could have had each other.

I don't know where I'm going with all this, but I think we have to get it out in the open. Cordy's going to tell me something real whether she likes it or not. This 'bitch' front of hers isn't going to cut it if we're going to keep being together. I'm not with her because I want the cheerleader debutante, or with Wes because I need some bookish researcher. I'm with them because they can somehow, for some reason see a different side of me. And I wish they trusted me to see that other side of them. Wes is giving it a shot, but it seems like Cordy's holding off for as long as possible.
Cordelia Chase: Lose Itqueen_cordette on March 9th, 2008 06:51 am (UTC)
"Really? Cause it damn well sounded like that to me," I point out, tensing up a bit. Not at his touch, gosh no. But this whole friggen situation again. Its like we're talking *past* each other, you know? Not to each other. I don't why it is that when Wes is in the room he can translate what we mean. We should be able to make the other understand what we mean without translator guy!

But seriously... I let him fuck me. I let him touch me. I let him near me. After everything that happened with the demon pregnancy he knows I didn't let anyone close. Yeah, I didn't flinch away when he or Wes *touched* me. But there's touching and there's touching. I let Angel fuck me, before Wes even and that doesn't mean shit all to him? Wow, dense much?

"Funny how you turn out to be one," I murmur under my breath and then freeze when he states he should jump into bed with anyone. And oh man, does that hurt. That so hurts a total lot. Not even I'm able to hide the *look* of hurt that flashes over my face. I know I brought up the fucking thing, but he thinks this is about *sex*?

"Everything has to be sex related with you? Wow, you're such a guy. You know what, Angel?" I say, getting slowly up from the couch and moving toward the kitchen. I need chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. "If you need a damn list of 'reasons Cordy might love me' because you need a hug? I'll write one on the plane for you."

Grabbing a big bar of chocolate from the cupboard, I stomp back into the living room and pin him down with a look. Yeah, I'm good with looks. Wes just gives me a look right back. Angel? He usually gets this confused gaze. Or an angry one, lately.

"And just for the record? You *don't* trust me to do things. And with things I mean taking care of you guys, making arrangements for you guys like I've been doing oh...how long now? Suddenly you have to like protest every fucking thing I say. Taking care of your wounds, making sure you eat, making sure the bills are paid, make sure Wes gets fresh air, make sure you don‘t brood to much. You wanna protest that to for a bit, too?"

Flopping down on the sofa, I start to tear the wrapper from the chocolate. "I'm *sorry* that I'm not as needy as Wes thinks he his. I'm *sorry* I can't come out and say I need a hug either. I'm *sorry* you never seem to notice that *I* find that dorky side of you cute too. I'm *sorry* that I think having a big guy around who can protect me physically is such a turn on for me," and Wes. Cause watcher boy so isn't fooling me.

“I’m *sorry*,” I conclude, swallowing my emotions down with some chocolate, “that I’m not what or who you thought I was.”
Keep Me: ang curious_keep_me on March 31st, 2008 02:46 am (UTC)
God, this is confusing. Why isn't Wes here to make things make sense? He thinks we can't get along with each other, and well, maybe he's right. The way her faces gets this pinched look, I know I've hit a nerve without meaning to, and if Cordelia Chase can't hide it then it must have been a deep nerve.

I do look up at her confused when she comes back with some...chocolate. Chocolate? I know this one. I know I know this one. Cordy eats chocolate when... When... Only when she's really, really upset. Otherwise, her figure, you know. See I knew I knew that one!

And now I just feel really guilty. I hate upsetting Cordelia. I guess it's kind of hard to see *her* being the one showing emotions just like Wes and Cordy were upset when I got so tired. It's kinda a weird sight and I feel awful for making her maybe not like me a little.

"No, I-" I try to say, but I really don't know what I was protesting and Cordelia has more to say anyway. The smell of chocolate envelopes the room as she flops back down next to me. Why is she sitting next to me? If she's so mad at me then why...

Oh. I think maybe I get it. It's words with Wes and actions with Cordelia. I mean, that's what you can trust. Wes will try to tell you, and Cordelia will just do it. And I guess that's what she's been doing. She doesn't wait for us to ask, she just takes care of things. Of us. She doesn't tell us she loves us, she just lets us...make love to her.

Fuck, this is weird. It makes my head hurt thinking this much just to figure Cordelia out. See? Wes is so much easier. But I do think I might have gotten the point.

I wrap my arms around her waist and give her a one-sided hug before she can protest. "Thanks," I tell her, hoping she gets that. "I'm sorry," I add, doubting that's going to get me out of jail free here, but it's a start. "I love you, not some other girl," I murmur pulling back before she can hit me or something, but still keeping my hand on her leg.
Cordelia Chasequeen_cordette on March 31st, 2008 12:33 pm (UTC)
Chocolate. Chocolaty goodness. Way of the good. Yeah, okay, not feeling better cause I'm stuffing my face with chocolate. Lets hope it'll kick in soon and them maybe the guys make more sense. I can see why Willow turned lesbian! Geeze. Men are so confusing! Sure, they'll probably think the same about me. Heh.

Angel's back to the stammering, stuttering thing again. Not the stammery stuttery thing Wes does, cause he's really doing it. But more the starting and pausing and then stopping totally. Almost makes me want to glare at him and tell him to just spit it out already. But I learned by now that's Angel's way of talking. He opens his mouth before he thinks, then thinks and closes it again.

Reminds me of myself. Except, in my case the words are out before my brain kicks in with the thinking. Funny. Wes thinks before he speaks, Angel thinks while he talks and I do it afterward. Really funny that. And the chocolate is starting to work I think, cause I glance at Angel when he's doing the fishy thing and think it's--cute.

Which is probably the reason I'm not pulling away when he wraps his arms around me but move closer. Automatic response? Dunno, just like the feeling of his arms around me. Kinda protecty like. And with Wes is all cuddly like. They're two different guys, is it so strange I'm looking for different things from each?

"You better not be loving some other girl," I tell him, giving him a tiny lopsided smile. "Or, you know, any other guy," I add after some thought. "Cause then we'd have to stake you, you know." So not thinking about little Miss Slayes-a-Lot now. Cause that's a given Wes and I don't wanna be thinking about to much.
Keep Me: ang curious_keep_me on April 2nd, 2008 02:36 am (UTC)
It surprises me when Cordy doesn't push me away in a huff. It also surprises me that she doesn't push me away at all. I know I'm not brilliant with the ladies except maybe when seducing them, but I was expecting more growl and more shoving me away.

But this is nice. I kinda like hugging Cordelia.

And I like it even better when I can see the beginnings of a smile on her face. Okay, I'm feeling a little distrustful of that - this was way too easy - but I'm going to go with it. So much better to not be fighting than to be at each others' throats.

"Hmm, pretty sure we don't want that," I say with my own lop-sided smile. "No other girls, no other guys. Just you two. And I want it to stay that way." I hope they both get that. Buffy is...safest without me, and I'm never going back on that promise. Doesn't matter what happens with Wes and Cordy. I'm not with Buffy anymore no matter how I feel about Buffy.

I just want to keep everyone safe. That's all.

"Are we...at the kiss and make-up stage now?" I ask, looking at her hopefully, but nervously. It was too easy, too easy. She's probably going to spring some kind of blackmail on me. I would expect that of Cordy at the very least.
Cordelia Chase: Eyebrowraisequeen_cordette on April 2nd, 2008 04:38 am (UTC)
Okay. What's with supris-o, confus-y look? Oh my god. I rip out his throat old fashioned way and it's not of the good. I try to be easy going and not fight, and it's not of the good. Kinda gets me way annoyed, you know? Makes me wonder what the hell he expects of me. Mixed signals much? 'Wes has it easier Cordy, you never treat me like that.' And then I do and I get *this*. Ugh!

Yeah, smile definitely running away when I see that distrustful gleam in his eyes. I don't know, everything I do seems to be the wrong thing. Everything Wes does seems to be the right thing. Then he's all 'Awww, Wes.' Or 'Weeeh Wes'. Yeah, I know Wes kinda evokes that sorta behavior in others and I know he'd not even aware of it. Only reason it doesn't get me more angry.

Doesn't mean I'm not with the jealous. Cause yeah, why can't he treat me like that? Why do I get the confused and distrustful looks? "Yeah, just us two," I agree with a sigh. More like just the two of them. Wow, insecure is so not a good look on me. Lets not even *start* on the feeling. You gotta go easy on him, Cordy, Its what Wes basically said. And look where it gets me.

And now he wants to make out and kiss. Such.A.Guy.

Shaking my head, I carefully fold the papers over what's left of my chocolate bar and put it on the table. Then I pull away from Angel fully, fake a yawn - almost fake, more tired then I thought - and nod over to the bedroom. "Kinda late, we need to get up early tomorrow. Still got a lot of packing to do tomorrow so I'm gonna go head to bed," I tell him, walking over to my - our? Dunno - bedroom. "I know you're a vampire and all, Angel. But try not to come to bed to late okay? And next time I act like you ask me to? Maybe looking a little less distrustful might, oh I dunno, be a bit more encouraging. Mixed signaly much?"

Fine. I'll write him that friggen letter with 'a hundred reasons Cordelia Chase loves Angel but the dense idiot vampire is to dense and *distrustful* to even notice.' Yeah, I'll do that. Now I'm gonna sleep, cause fuck it, I tried. I can at least say that to Wes when he asks in the morning. I tried, not sure if it did any good.
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on April 3rd, 2008 02:01 am (UTC)
What just happened?

Damn it. It seems like nothing ever comes out right. I guess I need to keep my mouth shut and like...wear a mask? What's wrong with my looks?! Fine. I'm following Cordy's lead. If she wants to pretend to be sleepy, that's fine. Not that she doesn't look tired - and I know I have myself partially to blame - but seriously, that yawn and fake stretch weren't going to fool anyone.

And I feel even more confused when she says, try not to come to bed too late. She wants me to sleep in the same bed, but she...doesn't like me? It seems like I can't do anything right and she can barely stand me. I don't know!

Good thing I didn't ask if we should go see if Wes is alright. That would have been a mistake even I could have seen a mile away. I sigh inwardly and slump on the couch. My first instinct is to stay out on the couch since I'm not wanted, but I'm trying to think about how that would backfire...and it would backfire royally.

So I should go to bed with her? I don't know. I do know that I don't like us parting like this, so I catch up with her before she can get too far, gently gripping her wrist. "Cordy," I murmur, trying to figure out what I wanted to say before trying again, "You're the only girl I want. I don't want you to change. Be yourself. I'll...figure things out eventually," I add quietly, releasing her wrist.

I know I rarely say the right thing, but I can at least try to give her the right feeling before going to sleep. "Good night," I murmur, walking back to the kitchen to re-heat the blood that Wes had Dennis get for me. I'll give her a chance to have some space. And I'm really, really going to try not to just sack out on the couch. That would be a bad idea, Angel, I remind myself as the microwave beeps.
Cordelia Chase: Lose Itqueen_cordette on April 3rd, 2008 04:34 am (UTC)
There's a brief glance at my wrist when he grabs hold of it. Yeah, it's gentle, and you know? Any other time I might have made me and my body thrilled. Right now though? So not with the thrilled, more with the annoyed. Now what does he want? I keep having to repeat Wes' words in my head. Go easy on him, he needs time, don't be such a big bitch, Cordy. And hey, Angel needs a hug.

"You don't?" I echo after him coolly. Doesn't want me to change. Yeah, right. Then why *is* he protesting and complaining and going against everything I say or do? And when I finally do the pliant thing? He looks distrustful. It's never right. And I can't point that out without being a bitch. That's not to say it's not on the tip of my tongue. Getting so tired of this.

"I hope you will figure things out sooner then eventually, Angel," I tell him quietly, giving him a desperate look. "Because eventually I'll grow tired of having to explain everything fucking thing I do, having to defend every fucking thing I do and having to see that distrusting look in your eyes when I try to-- Oh forget it. I'm to tired for this."

Throwing my hands in the air, I sigh and turn around on the heels of my feet. The door closes, my clothes are off and hung out to air. Wes's pajama shirt is still on the bed and I slip into it. As well as a pair of Angel's boxer shorts. Insecure really is *not* a good look for me, I think as I slip under the covers. Dennis turns off the lights while I stare into the darkness, biting my lips. I'm so not gonna cry, so not. But-- what happened? What did I do wrong? Why can't things between Angel and me be like Wes and me, and Angel and Wes? Why not?

Sleep, I tell myself, gotta get up early tomorrow. Pack, take care of my guys cause they'd forget themselves if I let them handle things alone. With another sigh I cuddle up in sheets that smell like Angel and Wes. My guys. *My* guys. I already knew love was with the hurting at times. What with the whole Xander thing. But...wow...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes glasses looking down S2watcher_pryce on April 12th, 2008 10:16 am (UTC)
All night I'd been up. First trying not to listen in on Cordy and Angel talk. That was a hard thing to do, and I haven't quite managed it. Couldn't everything and I wasn't sure if I should be relieved there wasn't any yelling. When Cordy yells she usually isn't so mad. Not really. Its when she gets quiet and calm that you have to look out. Angel, I'm not so sure what Angel does when he's mad. He always seems so cool and collected, so together. Which I know is a facade, just like Cordelia and I wear. Only he's worn his for so long he doesn't quite know how to take it off.

The rest of the night was spend trying not to think about going on an airplane. I'd packed (only to have Cordelia *re-pack* my entire back in the morning) and then did some research. Which was actually the best way to keep myself from thinking 'airplane' and 'flying'. I really, really do not like flying. There could be a bomb hiding in the luggage, the plane could malfunction, it could crash, the pilot could get unwell, it might fall apart!

So yes, research seemed to be good distraction. I had put then prophecy aside for now, since I wasn't going to be able to take it with me. I was looking at something more important. Visions. It hadn't escaped either myself nor Angel how much pain Cordelia was in. The stronger painkillers she kept hidden. In the long run I feared that those visions were going to cost her, her life. I was looking for a way to get rid of them, with or without her consent. Something told me Angel might be on my side when it came to that. But since that search wasn't panning out, I had focused on something else. Something promising. Something for which I might actually get the final answers to on...Hawaii.

Now, hours later, we were at the airport. Breakfast had been somewhat tense. Cordelia had gone out to 'do some last minute shopping'. She came back with a smirk on her face, saying she got a surprise for us. Since it was one of those smirks that tears you between makes you back away fast, or wanting to see that surprise right now, I didn't ask. Cordelia spend the rest of the afternoon packing. My bags, hers, and Angel's as well of course. And then we were on our way to the airport. Even though it was a private jet our client had, we still had to go through the motions.

Good thing we has those fake papers made for Angel.

Most of all this had passed me by in a daze. The only thing I had been managing to do was slip a few research books into my luggage when Cordy wasn't looking. The rest of the time I was to busy trying not to panic, or hyperventilate or eat up my fingers while chewing on my nails. Cordelia had rattled a bottle of pills and ordered me to take some. 'It'll calm you down, Wes. Now swallow!'

They weren't really helping. Of course, standing in front of the large window watching the planes coming in and taking off? Wasn't helping at all. But I hadn't been get myself to move for the last fifteen minutes and wasn't even sure if I could should it be time for us to leave. Flying. On an airplane. What the hell was I thinking?! Alright, calm down. Breathe in, breathe out. Stay calm, stay calm, I kept telling myself while coppery taste filled my mouth. Must've reached the end of my finger nails then. Bloody fantastic.
Keep Me_keep_me on April 12th, 2008 02:49 pm (UTC)
Boy, I really look like a dork in this I.D. they made for me. Wow. Who knew I was such a dork. But I think they cut the photo from some picture with both Wes and Cordy so maybe that accounts for the dorkiness. Although, I guess that doesn't account for my hair sticking up all weird. And I look like-- Anyway. I shove the card back in my wallet and continue staring out the window, one hand in Cordy's, the other wanting so much to rub over Wes' back to calm him down. But we're all still in public for one, and for another, I'm not sure if it won't set Cordy off again.

Talk about an awkward day.

I tried to act normal, I really tried. I slipped into bed with Cordy quietly, arm lightly around her waist, but I didn't try to keep her close, not sure how mad she actually was with me. And I got up to make breakfast, but last night was just lingering in the air and none of us seemed to be able to make any conversation. Wes looked so tense he probably didn't even notice though. And when the way Cordy had sounded last night, I didn't even try to comfort him. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Cordelia disappeared for something, and then disappeared to do the packing. Which I totally kept my hands out of. Might've sneaked a few things in when she was done, but I didn't get in the way, or make a fuss. I stayed in the living room and then when I couldn't read, cleaned the kitchen while Wes was doing some kind of last minute research.

Once Wes got worked up though, things seemed to go a little smoother, with both Cordy and I working together to keep him functioning and peeling his fingers from a few doorways now and then.

We got through all the checking in and security and finding where to go for this private jet Mr. Whathisname had hired for us and it was almost time for us to board...

And now I smell blood.

I squeeze Cordy's hand a little tighter and look at her, nostrils flaring a bit to catch the scent better. Not Cordy. Wes. "You okay?" I ask him, looking him over surreptitiously for any obvious wounds. He's been going at his fingertips for awhile. Maybe he bit himself? I glance at Cordy again, trying not to look to worried. When are those damn pills going to kick in?
Cordelia Chase: rrrrightqueen_cordette on April 12th, 2008 10:40 pm (UTC)
I go them *the* best looking hunky swim trunks. They'll look sexy and sophisticated in it. Way hot. If I can get them in it. I mean, Angel wont be much of a problem. Wes might, not that he's a prude... Yeah, okay. Sometimes he's a prude. Bet he's not very comfortable parading around in nothing but swim-trunks where lots of people can see him. Good thing I asked for the adjoining cabins with the private beaches. This is gonna be fun. This is gonna fun if it kills me dammit!

We deserve fun. All three of us deserve some fucking fun. And then maybe not having to worry about clients for a bit - after we took care of this one's problem of course - will help me figure out what it is Angel wants from me. Cause I sure as heck don't know anymore. Could feel him slipping into bed last night, sliding his arm around me. Made me feel safe, and secure and protected. And why is it Angel is having such a hard time believing he makes me feel that way? I thought the only thing missing then was... Wes. Yeah.

And here we are, after a way tense morning. Least I got to do some shopping. I got me some sexy dressed to die for. And a nice, cute little lingerie set-- which I hope the boys will like. Silk, blood red. Wes likes silk, I know. And Angel... Yeah, well, blood red huh. Got them both some 'vacation' clothes as well. Cause I know my dorks. Angel will walk around in looming black all the time. And Wes in a suit if I let them. No way José was that gonna happen. We needed to blend in and stuff. Besides, worrying about the little things, made it harder for me to worry about the big pink elephant problem stomping around us.

Right now though? There's a not so little angsty Brit boy so not stomping around. Wes is looking paler then ever, anxiously watching planes come in and take off. Angel and I did our best to distract him, but you know? Even we run out of things to talk about when it comes to that. I mean, without making Wes blush and...heh. I'm thinking now maybe that *would* distract him. You know? All the fun things we can do in Hawaii?

Angel giving my hand a little squeeze makes me look at him with a frown. But he's glancing at Wes. Leaning forward a bit I stare at our boy and see him biting his finger nails to the quick again. Angel and I share a glance and I wonder if I shouldn't have given him that whole bottle of relaxation pills. Maybe I shoulda gotten him some sleeping pills instead.

"Wes stop biting your nail... Okay, your fingers. You wont have any hands left by the time we get to Hawaii," I say gently, raising an eyebrow at Angel when Wes all but jumps at the sounds of our voices. Oh geeze, if it's like this now? What's it gonna be like to try and get him on that plane?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes surprise S2watcher_pryce on April 12th, 2008 10:41 pm (UTC)

Nearly jumping out of my skin, I pull my finger from my mouth and wince when I realize what that coppery taste was. Blood. Mine. Cordy has a point there. Keep this up and you wont have any fingers left, Pryce. But there seems to be nothing I can do to stop it. Other then just come up with a really bad excuse and get the hell out of here. That option is starting to sound more and more appealing I must say.

"Oh, uhm. Yes, yes, Angel. Fine. Thank you for asking. I'm just fine," I babble, knowing it sounds like it is. A lie. And a bad one at that. Breathe in, breathe out. It's all fine, nothing is going to happen. Cordy and Angel will be with me the entire way. And they'll die to when the plane crashes, or falls apart of if the pilot turns out to be some fire breathing demon! This is not helping. Bloody hell.

Turning away from the window, I wipe the wet palms of my hands on my jeans. Very comfortable jeans, I'll give Cordy that. She wouldn't let me put on my suit this morning, stating that 'comfy clothes would make things easier'. I don't know about that, certainly doesn't seem easier! And this hanger, waiting room, whatever this is, is starting to close in on me. To small, to small for pacing. Breathe in, breathe out. Having a bit of difficulty breathing it seems.

"I uhm. I'm just going to step outside for s-some fresh air," I tell Angel and Cordy. Once I'm there, I could make a run for it. I'm sure I could phone in the spell and-and things and-- I wouldn't have to fly! "I think I forgot something in the car," I babble, hastily turning around on the balls of my feet and moving toward the exit, entrance.. out of here!
Keep Me: ang stare/stoic_keep_me on April 13th, 2008 02:22 am (UTC)
Babbling. Babbling is never a good sign. Babbling either means Wes is afraid, Wes is covering something up, or Wes is upset and doesn't know how to cover it up. Possibly all three in this case.

He's practically vibrating here next to us, and not, so very not in a good way. Eyes darting around, hand wringing, there is nothing good about this situation, Wes-wise. When I see his eyes glancing quickly around - for an exit, no doubt - I know we're going to have a runner on our hands.

Before Wes can even take a step, my hand is on his shoulder, first stopping him and bring him back to us - without releasing Cordy's hand - and then looping around his shoulder like he's an old pal. "It's about time to board, I think, Wes," I tell him firmly, meaning stay right here and don't move, damnit.

And before I can think better of it, I lean in close to his ear for a second and tell him, "And if you don't stop biting your fingernails, I'm going to start sucking on each of your fingers, right here, until I've licked away every drop of blood and you're so hard you can't move," in a low voice before stepping back closer to Cordelia, giving her hand another squeeze. This time it's for reassurance.

Hopefully, that little threat will distract him for a few seconds and we can get the plane's crew to hurry this along so we can get Wes on the plane and belted in. They do have seatbelts, right? Because they better, otherwise Wes is going to be clawing at the door. Maybe we should have brought other restraints? Hmm. I glance at Cordy, giving her a slightly concerned look. She's pretty good at calming Wes down, but there really doesn't seem to be much that's taking his mind off that plane at the moment.
Cordelia Chase: Eyebrowraisequeen_cordette on April 13th, 2008 10:08 am (UTC)
Fine. Fine? Fine my ass! Wes is so far from fine it woulda make Angelus look innocent. And he was anything but innocent. So Wes? Not fine. I'm starting to think those over the counter medications are gonna work the same way on him as most mild stuff does. Not at all. Friggen great. I really shoulda gotten the hard stuff, not like I don't know where to get it. But using those on unsuspecting Wes'? Not gonna end well. Thank fark I have Angel here.

Angel and I share a glance when Wes utters *the* most lame excuse ever and tries to make for the exit. So not happening buddy! Angel's hands on Wes shoulder, pulling him back in and I lean in to see what's going on. And watch Wes grow even more pale. And then bright red when Angel leans in to whisper something to him. Yeah, can't help but smirk at that. I'm not a vampire, I don't have supernatural hearing, but I think I can imagine what he said to Wes. Naughty vampire. Heh.

"Close your mouth, Wes, you're not gonna be using that on us here. Besides, you look like a fish," I tell, voice dropping to a whisper. flash him a grin when the shocked look this time is turned toward me and think that hey! We may have found a way to distract Wes. Knowing him, it'll only last these two times, cause now he's prepared for it and probably calculated that into his doomsday scenario he's come up with.

"Yep, time to go, Wes. Lets get going," I agree with Angel. Giving his hand another squeeze back, I slip mine out of his, dart around the pair and move in on Wesley's other side. Boxed in, nowhere to run, not gonna fly, boy. "Let's go, lover boys," I murmur, looping my arm through Wesley's and hoping Angel's gonna be doing something similar on the other side. Cause if Wes gets spooked? No way am I gonna be able to stop him from running.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes glasses looking down S2watcher_pryce on April 13th, 2008 10:09 am (UTC)
Before I can even turn around and make a quick exit, there's a big hand on my shoulder pulling me right back. Wide eyes look up at Angel while I try to swallow. Which isn't working with next words and my breathing just picked up a little more. I can't seem to breathe in deep though, the way I'm supposed to! Eyes dart back to the planes landing and taking off and I can feel cold sweat trickle down my back. Might be trembling, but I'm not sure.

Everything is a bit hazy, but all I know is that I have to get out of here. And most definitely not get on that plane! I don't think those pills Cordelia made me take are ever going to work! If they did, I should've felt something by now and not feel like the world is going to crumble around me if I get on that plane. I don't want to go on that plane...

Fingers go back to my mouth, chewing on what's left of any nails there. Which, granted, isn't much or at all. It's then that Angel leans in and my eyes go even wider. Mouth opens and closes several times but nothing comes out. Not even a undignified squeak as I stare at him. It doesn't help that Cordelia feels to need to add in her own two cents either. I slowly move my eyes from staring at Angel to staring at her and close my mouth with an audible click.

Of course by the time I've done that, I realize that Cordelia's now on my other side and we're moving. We're moving. Toward the gate. We're moving toward the gate! I can feel my legs protesting, most absurdly not wanting to go there. A small whimper gets out while my brain frantically tries to come up with some sort of excuse. Anything not to get on that plane!

"I need to use the loo," I finally get out in a raspy whisper. And while I utter those words, I lurch into the direction I think the bathrooms might be. Of course I'm hoping it's the direction of the exit.
Keep Me: ang stare/stoic_keep_me on April 13th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
There's a tiny little smirk on my face when I see the reaction Wes has to my words. Yeah, that's right, Wes. Vampire here, and totally not above some evil threats to distract and torture you.

I put a heavy hand on his shoulder closest to me as Cordy moves around to Wes' other side and give him a reassuring pat before clamping my fingers on his shoulder.

Thankfully, the crew seems to have gotten things together and they've got the jetway down so we can get on. We're almost to the stairs when Wes says something about the bathroom and lurches to the side. Supernatural reflexes have my arm hooking around his middle before he can even get two steps away. "No way, tiger," I murmur deathly low against his ear. "You can pee on the plane. They've got toilets on board." I glance over at Cordelia for confirmation of this. I'm pretty sure they do, but I'd hate to be wrong.

"Up you go," I say, dragging him towards the stairs and motioning Cordy to go first so we can keep boxing him in. Even having her hold his hand is helpful. I know Wes wouldn't hurt Cordy no matter how freaked out he was, and him taking the time to figure out how not to do that should give me time to catch him should he try something like that again, I think, as we head up the stairs, my big body blocking him from behind. "Move, Wes," I order with a low growl knowing he and Cordy are the only ones who are going to hear it.

Now is probably not the time to mention my own apprehension about flying in a heap of metal. Submarines were bad enough. The thought of getting trapped at the bottom of the sea in one is one thing - I probably could have gotten out eventually - but planes tend to explode. That's never good. But I've got Wes to keep me distracted. He obviously needs more of the attention here.
Cordelia Chase: Moi?queen_cordette on April 14th, 2008 04:12 am (UTC)
Is this the plane version of good cop bad cop, or what? I mean, Angel growling at Wes and pushing him can't be all that good. Huh. Maybe Angel got fed up with the whole thing and decided not to take any more Wes crap? Great Angel, really great. Really a nice way of calming him down. Yeah. Geeze.

"Angel," I murmur as I push past him when he motions for me to go first. "A little less with the intimidating? You're gonna scare the crap outta him if you keep this up." I give him a glare for good measure and then grab Wes' hand. It's cold, and clammy and so very much shaking like a leaf. Wow, he's really scared isn't he? Not good, not good at all.

"Come on, Wes," I babble, looking at those blue deer caught in in headlights eyes. "There's really nothing to it. I swear, nothing's gonna happen. I didn't get a vision about plane crashes or anything, see? So nothing's gonna happen. Lets go, it's a really nice, small place." Like that makes any difference. But he doesn't need to know that.

We finally make to the top of the stairs and I'm kinda afraid Wes is gonna faint he's this close to going down due to lack of oxygen. "Breathe, Wes," I mutter, giving Angel a worried look. "Angel and me, we're right here. Gonna be okay, you hear? Now step on board. Just one more step, come on, you can do it..." I coax, not wanting to drag him on board. Cause, how's that gonna look. People are gonna think we're Wesnapping him or something.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes white shirt glasseswatcher_pryce on April 14th, 2008 04:13 am (UTC)
And he's catching me again. Why can't he let me go! I don't want to go on the plane! I don't want to fly! I don't want to... get talked as though I'm three. I frown at Angel and then widen my eyes when he starts to push me toward the airplane. Dragging me even. That's... not very comforting I'll say. Doesn't make me any less afraid either. Far from it in fact.

It also makes me a little bit afraid of Angel. No one ever said rational thinking was a necessity when one is panicking, now is there? And right now I'm panicking and actually struggling in Angel's hold. "They're broke," I try weakly, finding it difficult to breathe, "I-I-I heard one of the-of the chaps say that... they're broke." I've no idea what is broke by now, my mind is going in all directions. The biggest one being trying to get away from the plane.

But we're already moving up the stairs and I've no idea how we got here. Angel's still pushing me from behind and Cordy is trying to coax me up the stairs by holding my hand. I'm having a hard time not crushing that hand, but I do seem to manage. I hope. God I hope so! I'd never forgive myself if I hurt her in anyway. Or Angel for that matter, don't care if he's a vampire.

I hear Angel growl behind me and nearly jump out of my skin. Cordelia keeps babbling on and on and I can't breathe. Can't breathe. "I --" I can feel the blood drain from my face when I hear some engine or other get turned on and the world is going a little fuzzy around the edges. Voice seem to come from far, far away and the only thing I do know is... I don't want to go on that plane...

“Cordy,” I whisper, glancing at her and then over my shoulder. “Angel I-I-” Can’t seem to keep my legs from giving out from under me.
Keep Me_keep_me on April 19th, 2008 07:37 pm (UTC)
"They're fine, Wes, now just keeping moving," I urge him more gently this time at the look that Cordy's giving me over Wes' shoulder.

Hmm, looks like the giving orders doesn't work. Even Cordy's giving me a look for that. I was hoping it would focus him enough, you know? Make him not think about the plane, just the words, just me. Even if he got mad at me for it, that would have been something. It would have been distracting, which was what I was going for anyway. Oh well. Cordy seems to be doing better with the hand holding and gently coaxing him forward than my technique though, so I hang back, letting her do the talking.

The engine turns on with a bumblebee type sound, only a little louder, and Wes' knees go weak. I sense the movement before it actually happens, Wes' voice giving out at about the same time.

"We've got you, tiger," I murmur next to his ear as my arms move at high speed to get under his armpits and catch him. His body feels limp and I wonder if he's passed out. Guess that would make things easier, wouldn't it?
Cordelia Chase: Raised Eyebrowqueen_cordette on April 20th, 2008 10:06 am (UTC)
Yeah, okay. The babbling coaxing thing or the bad cop idea from Angel? Neither seem to be working really the way we want to. Wes is scared shitless and I've never seen him like this. I mean, aside from the Sunnydale rumors. But hello! Totally different thing! We've all changed since then, like a lot. This though? Not something you can, you know, get a sword and chop its head off. That's not gonna work this time.

"You gotta breathe, Wes," I tell him urgently. Didn't know it was possible but he's turning even paler then he already was when the engines turn on. I barely notice it, I've been flying so often in my life. But Wes looks like he's about to really faint then and there. Which might actually be a good thing, if not totally embarrassing for Wes. Wow.

I open my mouth to lure him that final step into the plane when I see him sway lightly. Or not so lightly. "Angel!" I call out, but he's already got Wes. No surprise there, bet Angel knew before Wes even realized he was gonna faint. Or not faint, seems Wes is still there. Just not, you know, *here*. Kinda.

"It's okay, Wes, it's okay," I tell him, eyes flicking from his to Angel's. "We got you, like lover boy there said. Lets get you into the plane huh?" I say, gesturing toward Angel to just lift Wes up already and get going. He's not gonna be able to walk on those rubber legs.

"Before you know it we'll be in Hawaii, okay? Just think about that. Hawaii. Beach, sun, moonlight," I add, glancing sheepish at Angel, "cute drinks, me in a tiny bikini, Angel in a pair of nifty trunks I got him looking sexy and hot. There's lot of pretty things for you to see there huh?"
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ferret Maffiawatcher_pryce on April 20th, 2008 10:09 am (UTC)
Continued Here