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03 December 2007 @ 09:12 pm
 
Continued from here



My fingers falter a little as I watch Wes with Cordy, watch his pretty pink tongue dart in and out of his mouth, gliding along her body like a second skin, dipping inside of it, making her arch and groan. I wonder how many times he could do that in a row, how many times he could make her come with just his mouth? I don't know but it would be sexy as hell, given the way Cordy's hands are starting to clench and unclench.

Leaning over next to Wes' ear, trying to keep Cordy from hearing, I whisper, "Don't you dare make her come, Wes. You keep her right on the edge," giving Cordy an evil look. Oh, yeah, I'm so getting her back for that little near hand job. Thought she could tease me with no consequences? Well, there's that little bit of revenge, but mostly I'm just dying to get back inside her heat again. She and Wes looked hot. Too hot.

And Wes really is too good. My fingers press a little harder against his opening than I intend when it's my cock his lips wrap around next. "Good. Ah, god, Wes," I give a strangle groan, other hand twining in his hair for a second to keep him where he is. As...pretty as it is the way he submits, gives in to us, I still don't like his position. I don't like the way he simply got right to it as if it was his job. He's not our servant. That's not what we're doing here. Actually this wasn't what I meant when I said the teasing is- "Mnh, yeah, Wes like that," I hiss when I feel teeth. God, how does he know?

Waiting until he draws off my cock to move back to Cordy, I press a slick finger gently inside, wiggling in enough to scrape a fingertip just where I know it's needed. He gets a second to recover and I wiggle my finger again. Hmm, I think we're going to have to change positions very soon.


 
 
Current Mood: naughtynaughty
 
 
 
Cordelia Chasequeen_cordette on December 4th, 2007 05:39 am (UTC)
Looks like Angel's gonna get a little teasing in on his own. I watch as that thumb of his rubs Wes' entrance and then slips inside briefly with a tilt of my head. It's on the tip of my tongue to ask several things when they do that. Or when Angel does that. What does that feel like? For Wes? Doesn't hurt? What's it feel like to fill someone up like that? It Angel gonna fuck Wes? Not like I'll lever know what it'll feel like to fill either of them up, lacking a body part for that. But I could... with my finger.

I gotta ask if one of them would let me. It's then when I realize what it is that's so not sitting right. When Wes moves onto Angel and sucks his cock. For one, if I were to ask him he'd say yes. For a second, the way he just bend down and got right to it? Yeah, *that* doesn't sit right. Like his only role in this whole threesome thing it to please us. I'm not liking that, I'm not liking that through at all.

But Wes is far, far to good with his mouth, far to pretty as a picture he paints and way to good at knowing where to touch. How does he know?. And if the look on Angel's face is anything to go by? He's very much enjoying Wes' mouth as well. I pinch my nipples as my eyes go from Wes' mouth slipping over Angel's cock, then to Angel's face, then to his hand doing naughty things with Wes ass.

The way they both gasp, heck the way *I'm* gasping is filling up the room. Mine and Angel's gasps are of the 'oh my god I wanna come' variety. Wes' are utter surprise everytime Angel does something. I wanna be doing that. Damn. And what's he whispering at Wes that makes he look at me like that? Like he's confused, drawn between one and the other? Okay, I can't think when he licks and sucks me like that, so it'll have to wait for later.

"Don't that hurt?" I finally breathe out, watching Angel dip that finger inside Wes again, making him *moan* like it should be outlawed. The moaning, that is, cause damn, porn has nothing on that.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Glasses Curiouswatcher_pryce on December 4th, 2007 05:39 pm (UTC)
There's a hand in my hair, keeping me where I am for a moment. I know it's Angel because of the size of the hand, the temperature of his skin, the way he holds his fingers into my hair. They both have an unique touch and I know who it who right away without having to look up to check. I would have known even if there wasn't the temperature to tell me the difference.

I also know it's *his* hand and *his* thumb pressing against my hole. My legs spread as I bend forward a little it more. Moaning I glance up at Angel to make sure I'm still doing this right, doing what he wants me to do. I hope he doesn't expect me to climax again because that's simply not going to happen, I think. No matter how much he brushes that spot inside me that has me moaning around his cock.

Oh. Maybe that's why? Because that feels very good I know, having those vibrations around your aching erection. Maybe I should try that with Cordelia. Vibrating I mean. Licking my lips, I move over to Cordelia, wrapping my lips around her clit, but when I want to start working, Angel leans in and tells me she can't come. And that's-- confusing. Because I know my role right, but I'm not sure who's in charge. Cordelia or Angel.

And I really, really don't want to chose, so they can do that themselves. They're both equal to me as far as I'm concerned, as far as this is concerned, or anything else really. So I keep going after a confused look from Angel to Cordelia, legs spreading even wider when Angel presses his a finger inside me and a groan gets out against Cordelia's clit. Seems Angel would know just where to touch as well.

My tongue laps at Cordelia, cleaning away the juices which are escaping her. Taking in her moans and Angel's with a little smile. I do that, I can make them feel good. This is what I know I can do when it comes to sex. Use my mouth, anything else is pretty much a learn as I go experience. But this I know lets not think to much on *how* you know so well hmm? I move over to Angel again, teeth scrape over Angel's skin as I pull back and then there's blinking when Cordelia asks if that hurts.

"I-- don't think so?" I murmur, looking at Angel's cock confused, before looking up at Angel with a small look of horror. It doesn't hurt does it? And if it does, he'll probably like it, right?
Keep Me: ang happy_keep_me on December 5th, 2007 12:18 am (UTC)
Jesus, the mouth on this boy. He's way too good. Way too good for many reasons I'm sure. One that he's a quick study, and two that he takes pride in what he does, but I think there's some other reasons, too. Other reasons Wes isn't quite ready to share. I'm not pushing him about it either. I think Cordy will ask. I think she worries about him and why he's so damn good at this when she doesn't see him running around with every guy or girl he sees. I'll leave that to Cordy. It's Wes' story though, he doesn't have to tell it. As long as him hiding it doesn't have me hurting him then it's okay for now. I wanna know, but I don't want to make him dredge it all up.

Ahh, god, don't know how I even have a coherent thought when he moans around my cock like that. Oh, yeah, definitely going to have to time that moan for Cordelia. If it feels as good on her as it does on me... She'll like it. Looks like we were right, and I say we because I can see Wes timed that just as well as I did. Man, he looks good with her. I could watch the two of them all day. Lots of things I could do with these two all day though.

"Hmm, no, feels," perfect, I'm about to compliment him and then catch myself, "incredible. Exactly how I like it, Wes," I assure him at the horrified look on his face. "Don't think that's what she meant though, tiger, I think she meant this," and I rub my finger inside of him for emphasis. "You want Cordy to touch you there too?" I ask him, stroking the rest of my fingers soothingly along his skin. "You could suck her fingers so she'll be nice and slick for you," I suggest, easing my finger in and then out again, getting a little rhythym going while he decides, and of course, hitting that nice bundle of nerves every time.
Cordelia Chase: Over her shoulderqueen_cordette on December 5th, 2007 05:19 am (UTC)
Why's he looking at Angel with totally blue big eyes? Why'd I have to ask that! Cause now he stopped to do that woe is me look and I still don't know what that's about. Oh. Oooh! He thinks I mean if it hurts Angel! Oh geeze, sometimes I think the boy was born oblivious about a lot of things. Which is totally sweet at times, but other times... not so much. Also makes me wonder about things I really don't wanna be wondering about, especially not now.

Angel goes out of his way to assure Wes that, yeah it's feeling great whatever it is he's doing to Angel. Using teeth from where I'm sitting. Sure that feels great to Angel! Pretty much still a vampire! Something Wes would have known if he wasn't to busy figuring out dumb questions while getting me off. Next time I'm not opening my mouth till after we're done. Geeze.

But boy, do I wanna touch him there. Or Angel, I don't care. Why do I get the feeling Angel's not gonna let us touch him there any day soon? Not sure, just a feeling...you know? But Wes, I'm sure he would. I look down at him, trying not to look to eager and then back up at Angel. Who's way, way to good with words. A small groan gets out when there's finger suckage mention.

Oh, oh that ass knows what he's doing doesn't he? I'd like to glare at him, but since I liked his suggestion and glaring totally would put that down, and... Instead when I glance back at Wes, I realize that 'eager' pretty much obvious on my face. Wes who's still looking confused before a flash of something goes over his face. Something I dunno what's that about. Which makes me curious when now really so very, very much isn't the time to be curious.

"But I don't know where to touch," I murmur, leaning closer to Angel. What if I hurt him? That can't be fun and stuff. But wow, Wes' eyes flutter closed everytime Angel pushes that finger inside and touches *something* there. Looks like he's enjoying himself, and so's Angel. I want that, I wanna know what that feels like what Angel does. Or what Wes feels maybe eventually, if possible. I dunno.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes glasses blue shirtwatcher_pryce on December 5th, 2007 05:23 am (UTC)
Alright. I admit it. Even on my knees and in the midst of bringing them off? That compliment still has me beaming up at Angel. The fear which had knotted itself in my stomach loosens and I'm already bending forward again to resume my task. I mean, that must've answered Cordelia's question. Angel likes it, thank the heavens.

I have to pause though when Angel pressed that finger inside me again at the same time he tells me something. I groan around the head of his shaft and pull back, still looking at him confused. Do I want Cordy to touch me... Oh. Oh! She was asking if it hurts when he... Well, yes, it does. Or used to be, or should be? I'm so confused about that, I really am. It certainly isn't hurting now, good lord.

But I never understood how anyone could have wanted to be touched there voluntarily. Because yes, it does hurt. Quite a lot to be honest. So how does anyone want to be touched there in such a way? But when Angel does it, it-- It's confusing and throwing everything I've learned and known about sex out the window. Because yes, it still hurts, but it also feels good. And the latter part isn't something I had known. Ever.

So when my first reaction to his question is fear, and a wide eyed look at both of them? I don't think they can blame me. Actually, part of me ruefully reminds me, they can. Because it's not as though they know, now is it? Not that I'm about to tell them about that humiliating part of my life. Not voluntarily at any rate. But Cordelia looks so eager, and curious and-- I don't know, needy? How can I say no? Even if I'm afraid it'll hurt again, I know they're not doing it on purpose. Unlike some. Right? I wonder if Angel likes it, if he'd let me do that to him if... to many 'if's'.

"I don't mind," I say quietly, reaching for her hand to bring her fingers to my mouth. My eyes lock with hers while I suck them in and start to work them. Then my eyes move over to Angel while my free hand pulls and squeezes his cock, realizing I must look quite a bit like a fool right now. When I think - its not as though I really know - Cordy's fingers are slick enough I let go of her hand, hesitantly turn around, bending forward and dropping my head on my arms. I don't know how this is supposed to give either of them pleasure, but if this is what they want... then this is what they'll get. I would, quite literally, do almost anything for them, I realize with some fear.

"Err... Oh. I can still..." I murmur, blushing bright red as I lick my lips and gesture at Angel's erection at the same time.
Keep Me: ang happy_keep_me on December 5th, 2007 01:08 pm (UTC)
"Yeah, go ahead, tiger," I murmur, brushing a thumb over his swollen, slick lips. He looks eager for something to do and if that's what he wants to do - Wes doesn't often ask for things - then there's no way I'm saying no. "Gorgeous," I murmur before moving my hand away to let him get back to his self-assigned 'task'.

Slowly, I ease my fiingers free with a soft snick of wetness, my hand lovingly rubbing over his ass before helping Cordy, hand sliding along her wrist, bringing her to where she needs to be. "Go slow, just press and wait until his body lets you move," I say to her quietly, my eyes fluttering closed while Wes gets back to work. "It's better when Wes is nice and relaxed," I murmur giving her pointers for the future. Wes is fairly relaxed right now. Not perfectly so since I think he's still nervous about all of this touching *here* but he's got something to do so I think it's taking his mind off of it mostly.

I think a little something else might get his mind off it too. My hand strokes his hip while I keep an eye on Cordy. "Just angle your hand a little, you'll feel where to touch him," I say with a little smile, hand trying to find its own way between his legs to that still soft cock. We'll attack from both ends, see if we can't get him to join the fun. I don't want him feeling left out in the future when Cordy and I want to keep playing. "Mm," I let out a little groan at Wes' work. Seriously. That mouth.

And that's about when my fingers start to lightly stroke along his cock. Very light, almost tickling touches. Finger drawing a line around the head of his cock, dragging lightly over the tip and back down. Bascially tracing every inch of him with the lightest touch of my fingertip. "Tell us if anything hurts, Wes. No holding back," I add quietly to him, hoping the seriousness gets through in my voice. It's an order, no question about that.
Cordelia Chase: shockedqueen_cordette on December 5th, 2007 05:28 pm (UTC)
There's blinkage. There's a lot of blinkage. And there's moaning when he just sucks my fingers like it's no one's business, and totally not Wes'. But he just does it and then turns around, lifts his ass in the air and... Just like that. Wes has the most cute, sexy ass of us I think. Angel has a strong, muscular fine ass. Mine, and that goes without saying, is a *great* ass. Wes' ass? I love the way it fits into Angel's hands *and* in mine as well.

What I don't like is how he just turned around and lifts it up as though he's... used to that? Doing that? Don't like it. I frown down at him and then glance over at Angel to see what he thinks of that. Angel apparently thinks it's cool so I guess it's okay then. Not like I know how men work, maybe this is a normal men's thing. Yeah, keep saying that Cordy, doesn't make it anymore true.

Instead of thinking about that right now - but I'm *so* coming back on this later - I focus on Angel when he guides me. He's guiding me to finger Wes' ass. Now there's something I've never thought of, that's for sure! My worried frown gets turned into one of concentration as I slowly slip my finger inside Wes entrance. I've no idea where to touch though, or if I should push, or wiggle or how deep or what! And Jesus! That's so *tight*! That's even tighter then... well, me.

So I keep my finger still for the time being and watch Angel's cock getting sucked. So pretty, makes me feel my own heartbeat throb between my legs with every suck, nip, bite, moan. I never thought I'd get turned on by watching some guy suck cock, but these aren't just 'some guy's'... and I guess I should move my finger. Which I'm about to do, already pushing inside deeper, feeling Wes tense a little, when Angel says he should tell us if it hurts?

Okay, freezing on the spot. My jaw drops as I look at Angel, frown down at Wes and then up at Angel again. "I'm hurting him?" I demand to know, keeping my hand as still as I can. "I don't wanna hurt him. I asked if it hurt, and you didn't say nothing. Angel is this gonna hurt him?" Yeah, I'm asking Angel, cause by now I get the idea Wes *wouldn't* say it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes white shirt glasseswatcher_pryce on December 5th, 2007 05:29 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank god. At least that'll give me something to do while... they're busy behind my back. Busy behind my back, I'm not sure what to think of that. I'm not even sure if I want to be thinking about that to closely. Do they not want to see my face or...? No thinking about that. Instead I focus on the angry red cock bobbing up and down before me. Angel really has the most beautiful cock, I think as I reach out to take a hold of it.

Which means I have to sit up a little, I hope that's not an inconvenience for Cordelia. I'm sure she'll mention it if it is a problem. Wrapping my lips around Angel's cock, I groan when I feel his hand slide over the globes of my rear. That's... a strangely nice feeling. Then there's a much smaller finger pressing against my entrance and inside. For movement my body tenses automatically while she slides in deeper, pressing this way and that, making me wince a little.

They can't see that at any rate, so I'm pretty sure they wont notice. Besides, I have better things to do while they play with my... with my arse. Yes, that makes me blush an even brighter red. It's a very... bizarre thought that someone would like to play with my *arse*. Angel's cock, for example, is a far better body part to be playing with. And playing with it I am.

Sucking, licking, tongue swirling around the head. I remember he likes teeth so I scrape those over sensitive his skin as I move up. One hand wraps around the base, rubbing it while I work the head. My other hand moves to fondle his balls, squeezing, pulling in a way I hope he likes. If those moans are anything to go by he does. He's - they - are also talking. His words make me pause, as do hers and my first thought is... what does it matter if it hurts?

I pull my mouth from Angels cock to look up at him shyly. Then I glance over my shoulder at Cordelia who's looking worried. Not a look she should have right now. Or at all, and neither should Angel. I've no idea what to say though, because I'm not sure what they want me to say here. "Err... it-- doesn't hurt?" I try.
Keep Me: ang curious_keep_me on December 5th, 2007 11:37 pm (UTC)
Mmm, that's so nice. I really could just sit here and let Wes worship my cock...pretty much all day. Yeah. Just like everything else about these two. But I'm getting distracted. I smile at Wes and myself. Of course I'm distracted there's a gorgeous boy with a gorgeous mouth on my cock. Yeah, it doesn't get a whole lot more distracting than that.

Except I've got other things to do. What wait? My hand stops moving on Wes shaft and I look at Cordelia confused. That's not what I said, was it?

I shake my head at her and am glad that Wes stops for a minute. I let Wes try to convince her, but I can see that Wes' word doesn't go far. Yeah, okay, I don't trust him to say it doesn't hurt either, that's why I was trying to be so emphatic about him telling us so that he might actually do it.

Shifting around and running my thumb over Wes' lips, "Hold off just a second, Wes," I murmur, brushing his flushed cheeks with my thumb too. And then I give over my attention to Cordy. Who looks so worried! She shouldn't be worried. Where's the trust?

"It can hurt," I emphasize, "if you do it wrong. Just like it can hurt with you, if your partner doesn't care to make it good," I say to Cordy, raising an eyebrow to see if she catches my drift. If a guy is doing things wrong then, yeah it's gonna hurt when he and his girl try to have regular old vanilla sex. Or if you're being raped, my own mind supplies, and I rub Wes' ass again gently. "Simple rules, okay? It's gotta be slick, whatever's going into him, and you just have to...let him adjust, give him time for his muscles to adapt," I say, hating to sound so clinical. "Works better when you keep the person relaxed," I say looking at her and stroking soothingly along Wes' back.

"We could even do it on you, Cordy, if you wanna know how it feels," I murmur, glancing at Wes and then holding Cordelia's gaze. And wouldn't that be a nice picture, both her boys filling her up at once... My hand moves to cover hers and angle her finger a little differently. "Try it like that, once you feel him loosen up," I murmur, releasing her hand and trailing fingers over Wes' balls and cock again, trying to get him to relax for Cordy.
Cordelia Chase: Eyebrowraisequeen_cordette on December 6th, 2007 05:22 am (UTC)
Yeah, of course it hurts when a guy doesn't do it right. Been there, done that in high school. Kicked the guy in the balls too. But I trusted Angel to know how it's done, you know. Pretty much over two hundred years old! He should know how it's done! Wes is older then me too, he should know how its done right? But this is different, I have no friggen clue what I'm doing.

Hearing that what I'm doing *can* hurt? So not doing anything to calm me down. Or be reassuring for that matter. I wanna know how to do it right. Which is why I'm paying close attention to Angel when he goes in explanation mode, totally not hearing how it sounds. Which, in retrospect - Retro-- I'm spending to much time with Wes! Anyway, it does sound kinda clinical, impersonal.

I just keep staring at Wes' ass like that's gonna give me some insight. Angel hands on training makes does it a little better. "Huh, hand puppets kinda. Cool," I murmur, feeling the tip of my finger brush over a some spot inside Wes that has him shuddering. He's so tight though, kinda tense like. He's not looking at us either, just staring ahead of himself. Is he even enjoying this?

Just as I'm about to ask that though, Angel has suggestion that makes my head spin. I try to think about how that would feel, if I'd like it and realize that... maybe, in the future I might. Right now? All I can think about is that its gotta hurt somehow, even if Wes is gasping with and getting out those totally forbidden sounds when we do it to him. So I wiggle my finger inside is ass some more and look at Angel. "So, would you like it if we'd do this to you?" I ask him, my eyebrow raising as if daring him.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes sulk s2watcher_pryce on December 6th, 2007 05:27 am (UTC)
And-- isn't this fairly humiliating. Not that they're doing it on purpose, at least I don't think they do. Or are even aware of how this makes me feel. But being talked about, and done to as though one isn't even here? Rather humiliating. Not that this is new, the feeling and being talked about as though one isn't there, but I'd rather not feel like that around them.

I don't say anything though, just let Angel explain things to Cordelia, spreading my legs a little wider for her. Him. Them? I don't know anymore. All I know is that Angel's hand on my ass feels nice and so does Cordy's. I'm not sure what to think about them fingering me... "Oh..." Alright, maybe it's not all that bad, that did feel nice. Even made me shudder.

That doesn't mean I'm comfortable with this. I feel like some sort of sex object. Their sex toy. I can feel my skin flushing with something that's a mix between embarrassment and shame as I keep staring at the wall in front of me. Until Cordelia brushes that spot again and Angel fondles my cock and balls. Then I drop my forehead on my arms while taking a shuddering breath. I must look like an utter fool. Kneeling on the bed, leaning on my arms, arse in the air while they're-- Yes, it's rather humiliating.

"I'm right here, you know," I murmur under my breath, the sound muffled by my arms and the covers. Can't seem to get my body to relax either when they're... They feel like miles away right now. Together, while I'm somewhere on the outside, looking in. Hoping. Wanting. Needing. But outside. This does vaguely remind me of the-- not so good old days. Except there's a whole hell of a lot less pain.

I just... wish it could feel as good as they obviously want it to feel. I wish I wasn't feeling so... alone, and cold and-- and outside. Not right now, not ever. But then I realize, where else would I be? If not on the side lines? Haven't I been put there all my life? "Love?" I mumble, letting them decided who I mean, even if I mean both.

"I--" don't even know how to ask to be let in. A shuddering breath gets taken as my eyes squeeze closed. Shaking my head - more at myself then anything else - I let my head drop on my arms again and sigh.
Keep Me: ang happy_keep_me on December 8th, 2007 03:18 am (UTC)
It's kind of cute watching Cordy concentrate on something so hard. Like she's fascinated with Wes' ass. Can't really blame her, it's a damn fine ass.

Wait, what? I carefully keep anything from showing. Well, uhh, that kind of backfired on me, didn't it? "Umm, I..." I trail off, not sure how to finish that. Angelus doesn't get fucked? Not that I wouldn't want to let these two try something like that, but I can't say that I know exactly what it feels like from that end.

Saved by Wes. Who's making noises like he's trying to tell us this isn't fun. It's supposed to feel good. Better see what's up. Yeah, I'm not slinking away from that question at all. Nope, not at all.

Leaving Cordy to her playing, I lie down next to Wes on my back so I can see his face. "Hey, tiger. What's wrong?" I ask, reaching up a hand to caress his face. Such nice cheekbones, I think as I let my thumb graze over his cheek, fingers massaging lightly along his jaw. Yeah, he's not relaxed at all it seems from this angle.

"Feel like changing positions?" I ask, still touching his face, looking for those fine emotions that flitter across Wes' face when he's trying to hide something or figure something out. Usually it's a puzzle, but I'm starting to get that it goes with his emotions too. Talk to us. "I could finish that blow job I didn't get to finish in the shower," I murmur, letting a finger slide across his lower lip. "You've been so good," I tell him softly, still cupping his face. "Very indulgent to your insistent partners," I add with a hint of smile.
Cordelia Chase: I'm always rightqueen_cordette on December 8th, 2007 02:31 pm (UTC)
And that is so totally not, *not* an answer to my question. In fact, I'd go with pretty much 'no', when he slinks away from the while issue. Doesn't make me feel better about fingering Wes' ass. I mean, if Angel doesn't think it feels good, or can't even tell me it feels good, then how am I supposed to know it actually does? "Don't think I don't notice you totally not replying, Angel," I mutter, giving him a narrowed eyed look.

And Wes so isn't any help here at all. Far from it, he's making these noises that usually mean 'I'm having an emotional moment I'd rather wish you all ignore.' I'm wondering why he's having one of those *now*, when he's supposed to be having fun. What, laying there, ass in the air, totally for display for us to play with. For me. I don't get it.

I do know - I'm not that stupid - that he's not having *fun*. So I slowly remove my finger as I frown down at the boys. Can't keep myself from touching his ass though, flat of my hands sliding slowly, softly over those perfectly round globed. I'm surprised he even has an ass, what with as thin as he is. He *is*! And that was a shudder. They guy is a walking mixed signal.

Weird. And I'm not sure if it's my touching him that makes him do the shuddering thing or Angel's suggestion. Huh. From where I'm sitting I can see he's still totally soft, nothing much going on there. Not been having fun, so something's going on. And for once - okay, I've had my moments before - I realize that asking him bluntly, or pushing to much will not get us anywhere. I just really wish Wes would talk to us, cause both Angel and me have always known there was more going on. Once we gotten to know the guy better. Would have never guessed back in Sunnydale, though now that I think about it? Yeah.

Instead I slip down next to Wes' other side and watch Angel do his magic. When it comes to this? He's far more likely to listen to Angel then me. Okay, not always, it kinda depends with Wes, and it's making me smile to realize that Angel and I are starting to get the hang of that whole 'talking to Wes' thing. Or hey, I'm so hoping we do. I share a look with Angel and I'm thinking he doesn't really know what to do either.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes glasses looking down S2watcher_pryce on December 8th, 2007 02:32 pm (UTC)
Dammit. Why can't I keep my bloody big mouth shut? This isn't supposed to be happening! I'm supposed to be quiet, and just let them do whatever they want. Just keep quiet and still, it'll be over sooner. Not a thought I should be having, memory really. Not when I'm with Angel and Cordelia, because this is *nothing* like that. Even though I feel like an outsider right now.

Angel sliding next to me has me looking at him with startled eyes that grow even larger when he touches me so gently. Talks to me so gently and-- that's not suppose to happen. I'm supposed to bring them off, any way they would want - and then catch some sleep. This *isn't* supposed to happen, this never happens. I'm not important, they are. Why is he--?

"I'm sorry," I blurt out before I can even stop those words from escaping. There's a flinch flitting over my face making me look down quickly. He's still touching me though, still talking so softly. Cordelia has stopped what she's doing as well and that still doesn't make me more comfortable. Though her hands touching my arse so gently, so... lovingly? Has me shuddering. As well as Angel's words and the picture they paint.

Though him doing that wouldn't be of much use. By now any reaction I had is completely gone, tiny as it was. And it would seem Angel is slowly growing softer as well, nor is Cordelia making those needy sounds any longer. Doesn't that make me more miserable, I'm supposed to be pleasuring them, not take it away!

"I--" Another sigh gets out and since no one seems to be interested in my arse any longer, I lower myself to lay on my front. Eyes dart from Angel to Cordelia and back again, eyes fluttering closed at the oh so gentle touch. "I'm sorry. I-- I didn't mean to-to..." They're being so nice, they're not supposed to be *nice* when they do this! I'm getting very confused here.

"I'm sorry I spoiled the fun," I ramble, quickly staring down at my, apparently, very interesting hands plucking at the covers in front of me. "Can I- I mean, I can go back to the whole---to what we...we were doing. Before?" And at least feel included again. Somewhat.
Keep Me: ang curious_keep_me on December 8th, 2007 06:15 pm (UTC)
I feel somewhat relieved - didn't really think I was worried - when Cordy slips down on Wes' other side. It's good to know that I'm not alone in trying to figure Wes out, or in trying to draw Wes out. He really is a puzzle sometimes. A lot of the time. And we may be getting better at turning the pieces around, but I know I'm still floundering with them sometimes.

I don't stop touching him though, that I know would make this even more of a disaster. "Not your fault," I tell him automatically, because with the way Wes blames himself it nearly always isn't his fault. Like 98% of the time. "Nothing to be sorry for, tiger," I keep reassuring him, moving my hand to his shoulder, rubbing him there and along his back. I'm really not concerned about the blowjob or getting to have Cordy ride me at this point. I just want to know how we got here and what's going on in that big brain of his.

My arm slides across his back when he finally lies down, brushing soothingly between his shoulder blades, drawing my fingertips along his spine. I know he's trying to tell us something but I just can't for the un-life of me figure out what it is. I'm pretty sure neither Cordy or I hurt him per se. Might have made him uncomfortable, but he really seems too frustrated and upset just for being uncomfortable. I scoot closer too him so I can touch easier and I can see Cordy doing the same on his other side.

"There's no fun to spoil if you're not having fun too," I tell him hands still touching him, still telling him we're not mad and we still like him. Love him. "If we're doing something you don't like or that makes you uncomfortable, you *have* to tell us. That's the only rule here, I think," I say, looking at Cordy for confirmation. "It's not fun for us if it's not fun for you," I murmur leaning in to kiss his temple. "Much rather hear you say no than hear you unhappy."

"Maybe we should just lie here and relax for a bit, the three of us, instead," I say, kind of ignoring his request to get back to being our servant. Maybe he's just overwhelmed, maybe we really did overstimulate him. I don't know but I give Cordy a worried look over Wes' back.
Cordelia Chase: lonely where you arequeen_cordette on December 8th, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC)
He's sorry. He's always sorry. I swear, half of Wes' vocabulary involves some sort of apology or whatever, mostly for something that's not his fault at all. And Angel's right, what kinda fun are we having if Wes isn't having fun? With the way he held his body, the tension totally screaming 'hands off' at one point? He so wasn't having fun.

Wes saying that he's sorry and then offering to go back to what we were doing? Gah! I so wanna sit up, grab his shoulders and just-- shake him. Hard. Shake some sense into the boy, shake that 'I'm sorry' crap out of him. I doubt it'll work though, even if Angel were to do it. If I ever run into daddy Pryce? He's the one who's gonna be sorry.

But why do I get this creepy like feeling there's more going on? I mean, I read those books about English boarding schools and such. Considering I used to be a bully in my former life - Yeah, not denying that, even though I wish I could - I gotta say Wes? Looking like the ultimate bullying target at times. And I really don't wanna be thinking about that and his 'all boys school'.

"Yeah, you have to tell us," I agree softly with Angel about his number one rule. "That and if we do anything that's hurting," I add, thinking about what we were doing before. Maybe I did hurt him and he just doesn't want to say it? He'd be that stubborn. Hell, Angel would be that stubborn, except for the whole vampire and he'll probably like it factor.

Wes just looks at us with those big blue eyes of his, as if we've just said the most insane thing. As if him having fun of pain really doesn't matter at all. Whoa, wait, he had *better* not be thinking that!

"Wes?" I murmur, putting my hand on his face and turning him toward me, "Were you having fun? Is something else going on?" I glance over at Angel, making a face which totally states that I dunno what to do either. "We can lay here and be with the relaxing, or whatever you want." Yeah, Angel's face of worry? Totally mirroring mine. What the heck is going on here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Broken S3 'billy'watcher_pryce on December 8th, 2007 06:52 pm (UTC)
That remarks earns him a stunned and incredulous look. Confusion seems to take over my state of mind permanently because this makes no sense. "But *you* were having fun and-and I spoiled it," I blurt out, thinking why it matter if *I* have any fun. It never mattered before. Ever. Even though I know it must matter to them, I can't seem to wrap my mind around that concept.

With a frown of confusion I quickly cast my eyes down again, trying not to lean into his touch to much. I don't deserve to be touched so gently after I just ruined their fun. I'm not supposed to be comforted by them being so close, I'm not supposed to be soothed by their touches, I'm not supposed to be told it's not my fault. It is my fault, it's always my fault. Haven't I always been told so?

"But..." I mumble, my body tensing even more when they lay down some rules. Very strange rules I've never heard before. Oh don't get me wrong, I've heard rules before. Just never ones of this variety. No one ever cared about my having fun, or being uncomfortable... or in pain for that matter. That Angel would rather I tell him no then have me un-happy completely boggles my mind.

Which is sad, some more saner, more normal part of me whispers. It's been there of and on, telling me that what happened in the past *wasn't* normal. I'm not that stupid... at least not any longer. It's just hard to think of that voice as reality after living in another one for the past twenty five years. Very hard.

"But what does it matter?" I blurt out, mumbling under my breath. A wince gets out at the same time the words do, because somehow I don't think they don't like hearing that. "I-I mean-- It never has before. I am *really* sorry I... took away the fun. I can do better, I promise. Please?" Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth, I chew on it while still plucking at the sheet and trying to gauge their reaction from under my eyelashes. "I just-- I just want to belong, too," I finally whisper.

Edited at 2007-12-08 06:53 pm (UTC)
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on December 8th, 2007 07:26 pm (UTC)
Stunned, confused. No one should look like that when you tell them that sex shouldn't hurt. That it should be fair and their choice. Whoever did this to him.... I could kill with my bare hands right now. "Doesn't matter, Wes. All of us having fun or it's none of us having fun," I say, knowing that Cordy agrees.

I can feel his back tighten up with tension when we tell him these things. How can he think that we wouldn't care? Why wouldn't we care if we were hurting him? It makes me ache hearing things like this from him and from the look on Cordy's face it doesn't make her feel great either. And those last few words he blurts out? Make me hurt for him.

"It matters now," I say strongly, trying hard to fight down the growl that wants to come out. But it's not at Wes and I don't want Wes thinking that it is. "It matters a lot," I say vehemently, wanting to kill every person that ever touched Wes before now. "It matters *because* you belong, Wes. We," I say looking at Cordy, "love you, and sex with us means *only* making you feel good." God, I just want to punch something. It never mattered before. It never mattered before! "It's not supposed to hurt, and you don't have to do whatever we ask. You don't have to do *anything* we ask," I clarify, not really sure I can keep talkng and not rip something to shreds. We're not rapists, Wes, that's not how this works.

"Did someone make you do whatever they wanted, Wes?" I murmur, feeling cold all over. "Did they for- Did they hurt you?" I've seen this before, hell, I've done this to people before and telling Wes that he was raped is not going to come easy. He's not going to believe it, if that is what's going on here. Denial makes for a good friend, even if something in him knows the truth. No one's going to punish you, Wes. No one's going to beat you if you don't let us do what we want.

"We would never do that, Wes, we would never force you," I say so quietly, but keeping my voice oddly even. It's hard enough to be a monster in their bed, but the thought that Wes thinks either of us would act like a real monster...it's heartbreaking. And one of the things I try hardest to avoid. I'm bigger, I'm stronger, I'm more experienced and have more than enough of the memories of doing just that to make it more than easy enough for that to happen. But it won't, not ever. I would leave them before I'd let that happen.
Cordelia Chase: Lose Itqueen_cordette on December 8th, 2007 08:14 pm (UTC)
What does it... I visibly have to shake myself and then look over to see Angel's face to make sure I heard that right. There's a look of thundering anger and sadness on Angel's face that makes me realize that yeah, I heard that correctly. What does it matter? What the fuck? The urge to get up and shake Wes, shake him really hard is getting stronger and stronger. Or, you know, tell Angel to get on a plane to England and go kill a few people.

Wes however just keeps looking down at the sheets as though they're the worlds most interesting texts he's gotten his hands on. The look of confusion on his face totally makes it clear that what he's blurted out is what he believes. Well, *I* don't friggen believe it! And suddenly I'm feeling so very, very ashamed, cause I used to be a bully and did I ever push other kids to this?

Yeah, okay. No. Cause I never, ever did what's obviously been done to Wes. Not that I know what's been done, but I got some idea's. And I really have no idea what to say. Cause usually this happens to-- to girls. Yeah, I knew a girl who this happened to. But she got help and they caught the shit and-- I never heard of it happening to a guy. A little guy with glasses, big blue eyes, who is to naive for his own good, fumbling around in the big bad world trying to please everyone. No wonder he's so--- fierce about the whole male thing.

Wow. I don't wanna be thinking of such a little boy and what Wes is implying right now. I'm just gonna shut up and let Angel do the talking, cause I might end up screaming at Wes. Then he'd think I'm mad at him and I'm so not. Yeah, okay, maybe I am a little mad at him for thinking that we could do that. Maybe even more then a little mad cause he's thinking that. Then again, I used to be a big bitch not that long ago. And Angel? Angelus anyone?

So I make sure to keep touching him, nodding forcefully at just about everything Angel says and biting my tongue to keep any very nasty words from getting out. I'm finding myself anxiously leaning forward with some sorta morbid curiosity to hear what Wes is gonna say to Angel's question. While at the same time I wanna get up and away, not wanting to hear that like at *all*.

"We love you, Wes," I say in a quiet quality I didn't think my voice *had*, "*You* matter to *us*."
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Glasses thoughtfullwatcher_pryce on December 8th, 2007 08:16 pm (UTC)
Well, if I wasn't stunned into silence I most certainly am now. Can't help but wince at the look on their faces though. As though I've personally ripped their hearts out and happily stomped on it with both feet. And maybe I have, I don't know. What with the way Cordelia keeps nodding at every confusing word Angel says. People say Angel's not a man of words, but they're wrong. He knows exactly what to say when it matters, even if it's puzzling.

And I know, I know deep, deep inside that he's right. But try telling that to my common sense. Which is telling me that he's wrong and it doesn't matter and it does hurt and... It didn't hurt when Cordelia and Angel did it though. They made me feel good, happy when we had-- when we had sex. Have sex. Everytime I keep waiting for it to hurt, somehow, and everytime it *doesn't* happen.

So- so maybe he has a point and maybe-- I don't know. This is all so confusing. Also not a conversation I ever thought to be having, let alone with Cordelia and Angel, never mind all of us being naked. That's something which would make me rather uncomfortable, but right now I have to many things on my mind to be bothered by *that* as well. Such as the looks on their faces, which is completely devastating.

And Cordelia being so eerily quiet while Angel does the talking? Drives even more home how much my words seem to have upset them. But-- it's the truth, isn't it? Still, they look so hurt and devastated and as though they cannot believe what I've just said.

Wearily, I glance over at Angel at his questions and frown. "No," I blurt out, "Yes, I mean-- Err...I don't know!" Did someone make me? He makes it sound as though I had a choice. Did they hurt me? Definitely, but isn't it supposed to hurt? No! It's not, and you *know* that!

I look over at Cordelia at her words and the look on her face still remains that of a girl who's just had her heart broken. "I'm sorry," I blurt out more on autopilot then anything else. "I didn't mean-- I-I- I don't know what I mean. I mean, I love you both too. And-and the past is..." so very much not in the past where I thought it was. "I know neither of you would hurt me, it's just..." hard to make myself *believe* that,

"...I'm sorry," I once again mumble, feeling myself choke up and not knowing what else to say. Other then telling myself not to cry, because Christ, wouldn't that be just what I don't need right now. Or Angel and Cordelia for that matter.
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on December 10th, 2007 02:01 am (UTC)
That reaction? Pretty much what I expected, confusion, denial. But Cordy, I didn't see that coming. Not that I didn't think she could, but I've never seen her like this before and it's surprising. Not so surprising though is the intense need to protect her from this too, to have her close her ears, or go in the other room until Wes gets this out and she doesn't have to actually hear it. But I know there's no way that's happening. She wants to be here with him as much as I do, even with as painful as it is.

"Hey," I murmur quietly when Wes looks like he's about to lose it. "Look at me, tiger," I say gently, turning his chin so I can see his watery eyes, watery eyes that make me ache. "It's not just with us," I say, "It's not supposed to hurt with anybody. And nobody's going to hurt you again, not ever," I tell him fiercely. "Not like that," I add much quieter, thumb stroking along his jaw. "We *love* you," I echo Cordy, thinking that we could not possibly stress that enough.

"You're mine, and Cordy's, and whatever we do to you, it's because you want us to, not because we make you," I add, hoping that some of this is going to sink in, that what was done to him isn't going to make things impossible. "Who hurt you, Wes? Who- who raped you?" I say, quietly knowing that's going to startle him. There's no getting around it, that's what it was even if he hasn't said as much. Can't avoid it though. I'm not letting him go, and I'm not letting him run away from this. He needs to know that that was wrong. Who ever made him believe that sex equals pain needs to be seen for what they really were, and that they were wrong. I don't even care who it was - not that part of me isn't going to be memorizing that name so I can kill them if I ever run into them - but this about Wes. This relationship isn't going to be what he wants or needs if he's always expecting what we do to hurt, or that we're going to force him to do what we want. He needs a clean slate.
Cordelia Chase: lonely where you arequeen_cordette on December 10th, 2007 05:37 am (UTC)
How bad would it look if I were to get up and walk away. How bad would it look if I were to get up and-- Can't do. And not just cause Wes will think I'm like mad at him or disgusted by him. But cause I can't leave Angel to deal with this any more alone then I'm already doing. I really, really have no idea what to say though. Really not. All I can do though is rub his back, keeping an eye on Angel and thinking Wes is gonna cry.

Yeah, don't get me wrong. Angel and me? We seen him do the sniffling thing, way before. Lots of time. Give him a compliment and make him feel at home and his 'allergies' act up. Starved for affection, I said it before. Nothing like this though. Just like the way he looks so shocked when Angel says *that* word. Gotta admit, *I'm* looking at Angel shocked.

Cause hell, I coulda pretend that Wes was just bullied at school. You know, shoved a bit into a wall here, turns his sheets inside out there, tied his shoe-laces together and stuff like that. You know? But now that the word is out? I can't deny it, it's right there staring me in the face. Like this big dooms dale thing I never saw coming, even if it resembled a large pink elephant in a small room. Wow.

I envy Angel, and I'm seeing a side of him now I never thought I'd see. Never really knew existed. Where he's firm but gentle. Where he's not just Wes protector but mine as well. This is what he does best, protect us. And I may think I'm the boss around here, it's times like these that make it clear that I'm so not. Not that I ever will admit to that again. "You can tell us, Wes. You gotta let it go, sweetie." Talk to us, Wes. If not for me, then for Angel, he's trying so hard.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes s1 looking down blue shirtwatcher_pryce on December 10th, 2007 05:38 am (UTC)
No crying, no crying, no crying. Crying is for women, for the weak, for the Nancy boys, for the... And isn't that just what I am? A weak Nancy boy? Even father said it when I tried to tell him what was happening at school. Suck it up and take it like a man, he said, looking at me a though I was over reacting gravely. I don't think he ever really believed me. Either that or he has the most amazingly developed sense of denial.

Knowing is one thing though, *hearing* it being said by someone you not only admire greatly, hope to impress one day but also love with your entire heart? To see the other person you love and admire wince from the corner of your eyes? To see them both looking at you with this sadness that makes me cringe, ache, makes me want to get up and run away? Something different entirely.

"What?" I whisper, rather weakly. My sense of denial has always been exceptionally developed, I've known that for quite some time now. But how else does one keep going through years and years of humiliation, put downs and being told one isn't good enough.

"I'm not-- I wasn't. I-I- it wasn't like that," I blurt out, feeling something cool and wet slide down my cheeks as I give them both a hopeful but frightened look. Please don't do this, please don't say that, please don't make it real. "I wasn't-- They didn't-- and-and-- Err... There was never any choice. I-- was the youngest and tradition they said and hurt, I asked them to stop those first few times but they never did, and it never stopped hurting and they kept going. Tradition... it wasn't like that. It wasn't-- I wasn't that! What you said," I babble, angrily wiping the back of my hand over my face.

"I'm not a weak little boy. I was a good boy, did everything he-- they said. I tried so hard... I was good."
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on December 11th, 2007 03:49 am (UTC)
"You *are* good," I say, feeling the violence almost erupt. I want to hurt, I want to pummel, to break, tear, beat, rip, maim, and rip some more. Rip everything and everyone that has touched this man to shreds. Turn their skin inside out so they can feel what it's like to be totally exposed and to have to toughen yourself from every direction like Wes has.

"You are good," I repeat, pulling him against me tightly, and urging Cordy to close in behind him. I kiss the wetness on his cheeks, wiping some of it away with my thumb, but holding him so close, because otherwise I'm going to have to get out of this bed and kill something. A lot of things. It hurts seeing him like this, feeling his body shake next to me while he tries to hold it in. "You're so good. So damn smart and skilled. Anyone would be stupid not to take better care of you, idiots not to want you-" for a son, because isn't that what this is all about? If someone had done their job and protected him, none of this would have happened. But no one cared, did they?

"You're not weak, it wasn't your fault, Wes. It wasn't your fault," I repeat. "And you never have to worry about being good enough. You are good enough. Good enough for both us. Better than good enough," I say, trying to find those blue eyes. "It wasn't your fault, Wes," I murmur again, kissing his temple, looking at Cordy and feeling far to broken for someone who never went through what Wes went through. I wish he could just give me all that pain he carries around. Anything to make his burden lighter, I would take it. All the years of being beaten down into a tiny pulp, I would take it if I could. My boy.
Cordelia Chasequeen_cordette on December 11th, 2007 05:41 am (UTC)
I want us to get on a plane *now* and fly over to England. Then, I'm gonna unleash Angelus and sick them on all those stupid little boys who ever hurt Wes. While he does that? I'm gonna be using my very expensive shoes - which I would have bought especially for this - to work Roger Wyndam-asshole's balls. Then I'm gonna flay him alive and cook him and do the dismember thing and keeping him alive for as long as I can.

Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do, cause it beats my other idea. Which would totally be grabbing Wes, screaming at him till my throat bleeds and he believes what we're telling him. Get the feeling I'd be screaming till I have no voice left for the rest of my life though. Bitch slapping him could be an option too, but then I'd be no better then those-- those people.

Actually, after what Angel just said that might be the least worst thing. Oh, but oh is the urge there. I just-- I just wanna hit something. Badly. Hard. Totally. Wow, who knew sex could be so dangerous? Yeah, I'm totally aware of the double meaning here. Man, if we'd known then... then what? Would we done it differently? Hell yeah, probably.

But since neither of my plans are really an option, I let Angel pull me closer and just watch them. Feeling my heart break more, bit by bit, with each word. Not just Wes' words, but Angel's too. Cause of the tone in his voice, the barely held back anger, but mostly the sadness, the helplessness.

"You are so good enough," I agree with Angel, pulling the covers over us, cause fuck it's getting cold. Doubt it's actual, you know, *cold*. I scoot closer to him, hugging to Wes from the other side and giving Angel a helpless look. Like *I* know what I'm doing here. So not. But he does, wow, who knew Angel was the wordy one? Woulda been lost without you. Both of us.

"Cause you think I let anyone just bicker with me the way you do? No way! I mean, not even Angel can keep up!" Lame, yeah, I know. But it's what *we* know, Wes and me. Also true, before Wes? I never knew anyone who'd be able to return the ball, kinda like, so to speak.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Broken S3 'billy'watcher_pryce on December 11th, 2007 05:42 am (UTC)
There is a big part of me which is having a very hard time coping with what Angel just said. A very hard time. Especially with that word. A bigger part knew though, knew he was right. Another part of me wanted to just... blurt it all out. Every sordid detail of the life of one Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, not leaving out anything. Knowing that if anyone has a right to know it's them. Angel and Cordelia, who still haven't run away from me. Who are instead scooting closer and holding onto me and trying to make lame jokes in case of Cordelia.

Gulping down more tears, I let Angel hold onto me and close my eyes. There are flashes upon flashes of the past moving past at a rapid speed. Making me flinch while one arm slips around Angel and the other around Cordelia to hold on tight. To cling onto them and thus proving that I am indeed... a weakling. There's a deep breath being taken while I feel myself starting to hiccup and it's then I realize those aren't just a few stray tears any longer. A strange sort of calm takes over as I burry my face against Angel's chest and Cordelia pulls the covers over us.

"I...never told this to anyone, love,...loves," I murmured softly. "This might be a little...jumbled. You can ask questions later if there something you don't...understand. But-- you have-have a right to know."

Pressing myself as close to them as is possible, I feel myself detaching from the fact that I'm talking about myself, my own past. Right, begin at the beginning. Tightening my grip on Angel and Cordelia I began to talk. I have no idea how long I talked, I did notice I was starting to get hoarse at the end. But I told them everything.

About the closet, about the punishments, so severe sometimes that I woke up in the hospital twice. Fallen off the stairs, they called it. About not being able to sleep on my back most of the time. About how lonely I was with no friends. About the few times he'd been trying to do something a normal child would do, like piddling in the small river. About getting caught every time.

About being send to boarding school and the horrors that happened there, the pain, the humiliation, the degrading. About how hard I tried to make my father proud. My voice became even more quiet as I told them about my time at the Watcher's Academy and it being a repeat of the boarding school I'd been through. Still, I'd been the best of his class and it hadn't been good enough. About my time as a Watcher to both Slayers. How proud I'd been, how hard I'd tried, what a fool I'd been. About how his father still managed to make me feel five years old and scolded me for working with...'that vampire' of all things.

Sometimes I went forward in time, sometimes backward when I remembered something else. Always in that calm, detached voice. As if I were telling someone else's story. Always glancing up to see if Angel and Cordelia were still alright, if it wasn't too much right now. I told everything, up until what happened just now, right here in this very bedroom.

Once I was done, I was certain they would now see most of what happened had been my own fault. Though there was this big part of me who was wishing with all his might that they'd tell me different. All I could hope for was that they wouldn't toss me out of their bed... and that I'd stop crying now, because that's really most unbecoming.

"I don't understand why-- Why they--" and 'they' could be anyone at this point, "why they would... " Tearfully I peer at Cordelia and then Angel, unable to finish that sentence.
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on December 11th, 2007 12:49 pm (UTC)
I know why, I know exactly why. Becuase they wanted to show they had power by picking on the weak, fragile looking kid, by picking on the kid who would do just what they asked because his father made him feel less than an inch tall and he wanted to please somebody, anybody. Because he needed the attention even though it was the worst kind of attention. That doesn't mean it was his fault, it just means they chose the one guy that they could abuse again and again. Because he was too sweet, too hopeful, and needing too much to have even the tiniest amount of love and affection, the tiniest amount of appreciation instead of disappoinment.

"It wasn't your fault, Wes. Not once. Not one single time. They're the weak ones, Wes. Those things they did are all about power and violence, they wanted to show they had power. It was never your fault," I tell him, trying to control my hands so that I don't squeeze too hard or hurt him when I brush my hand over his wet cheek. The urge to hurt is nearly uncontrollable. If this happened yesterday there's no way either of them could keep me here right now. No way in hell. But I'm holding myself together, because Wes needs me and I can't abandon him right now. But later, later when he and Cordy are asleep, I'll be out and there is not one creature that's going to stand a chance.

Much less his father. It's a good thing he doesn't live in L.A. Please let me never be in a room with his father or my pledge not to kill humans will be over without a second thought. It'll be a slow painful death that I could easily drag out for days, and it wouldn't take Angelus to do any of it. That someone would abuse and torment their son to make themselves feel like more of a man... He was just a little boy! I really don't know how I can hold it in, but I'm going to. For Wes. Every part of me wants to lash out and hurt. Hurt until someone pays for this. But that's going to take a lot longer than an hour or two.

"We love you," I tell him. "We love you so much, and no matter what anyone says *we* know you, and we know how good you are, how strong you are, and...we're going to be here when you need us. Always," I say, kissing his forehead much gentler than I would imagine myself capable of right now.
Cordelia Chase: Moi?queen_cordette on December 11th, 2007 04:26 pm (UTC)
This? I totally don't wanna hear this. If I thought I could I'd clap my hands over my ears and go la la la very hard. Cause I so don't wanna imagine this boy who's far to little for his age, and far to sweet, and far to naive, with glasses and those stupid knee-pants they have over in England while *that's* being done to him. What Wes' is telling us. Can't though, and it's not an imagination. It's real. So very damn real.

The fact that he is telling us though? Even if it's while he's bawling his eyes out and doing this hiccup thingy that would otherwise been cute? That makes me proud. So fucking proud of him. Not just of him, but of Angel too, and maybe a little of myself. Cause we made him feel safe enough, secure enough, to tell us this. This... shit. This, crap and god, I want to write an apology letter to everyone I've ever bullied in my life.

Karma really is a bitch sometimes isn't it? Wonder if Angel feels the same, what with the whole Angelus thing.

"It's okay, sweetie, let it out," I murmur, not knowing what to do or say other then plastering myself against his back and wrapping my arms around him. I press my face against his shoulder when I feel tears tracking down my own cheeks and am glad he can't see them. I know Angel will be smelling them, or if I'm lucky he thinks they're Wes'.

And he just keeps going, like he's been waiting to tell *someone* this, but never found anyone who he trusted enough to... I dunno. I'd say be weak around, but that would *so* be the wrong choice of words. If accurate, cause we can be strong of him now. Just as he's strong for us if we need him to be. And he is, strong. Cause how else can you keep on going after *that*? Jesus Christ on a moped, it makes me so fucking pissed.

Not even sicking Angelus on them *and* his dad would be enough punishment. Though, I doubt Wes would want that, probably never thought of it, since he thinks it's all his fault. It's not. It's *not*.

I let my hand slide past Wes to rest on Angel's arm, cause hell, I may be strong on the outside to everyone else? I need a rock to every now and then. Right now, Angel's our rock. He's been our rock for a long time now, but only now am I able to admit that. If only to myself. Wow, there's revelation.

"We love you," I agree with Angel, so, so glad that he's here with me for this. "so damn much," I add, even though I can feel Wes' heartbeat slow down as exhaustion takes over. My boys, those are my boys and I just want to keep them safe. Both of them.... but I don't know if I can.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Glasses thoughtfullwatcher_pryce on December 11th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
Its hard to believe I'm actually telling them this. Even if it's between a lot of tears, mumbled words and god... hiccupping. That's so unbecoming, so embarrassing. I can feel my bottom lip trembling quite a lot, but am unable to stop it from doing so. It makes it hard to get the words out that are already so very hard to form. It's hard telling them this, it hurts, it hurts like nothing I've felt before.

But it also makes me feel lightheaded in a way I've never felt before. As though an enormous weight is lifted from my chest and I had no idea it has been there all my life. That really is the most strangest experience.

By them time I'm done, I'm back to staring, this time at Angel's chest. Apparently I've wrapped myself around him during my...confession. Cling onto my rock I'd almost say. I feel Cordelia plastered against my back, silent tears wetting my shoulder, making my stomach knot. It's on the tip of my tongue to apologize for that as well, for making her cry, if not for the fact that she might hit me.

And Angel, Angel sounds as though he's barely able to keep control. I look up at him fearfully, still hiccupping as I try to stop crying. The moment I do he presses a kiss to my forehead, a hand wiping away my tears and he holds on even tighter then he already was.

"I'm sorry," I murmur, unable to stop myself, "I love you to. Both, very, very much. You make me..." My eyelids are drooping and voices seem to come from far away. So tired, so tired off everything, but it's almost as though I've turned a page and instead of another dirty already written page, there's a fresh blank one.

"Family. You make me feel... like I belong," I whisper, feeling my body go limp as exhaustion takes over.
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on December 12th, 2007 02:47 am (UTC)
"Me too, tiger, me too," I murmur holding him so close, kissing the top of his head. And this is why I call him tiger. So strong, so very strong. I don't know many people that could have carried around that burden for so long and then finally let it out. It's the letting it all out part that I'm not sure how he did. Seems like if you were in denial for long enough that the badness would seem like a part of yourself and to now have that part missing... I'm betting it's going to take him some time to get used to not having that part anymore, or to fill it with something new and better.

Yeah, that might be the tougher part. The new stuff. So used to what used to be there that it's gonna be hard to put something new and happy there, but Cordy and I are going to help him. I rub my fingers over Cordy's arm where I'm holding it back. Don't want her to notice too much and have her steal her arm away. She's worse than Wes when it comes to admitting weakness. Her eyes are nearly as red-rimmed as Wes' though, so it's obvious that this wasn't easy on any of us. Not like I'm about to let her be without comfort either. I tuck the blankets she's pulled over around all of us. Closer is better right now. "We all belong...together," I say, nuzzling Wes' neck gently.

I can feel Wes' body go lax against me, his eyes closing from the strain. It was a strange way to get here, but I'm glad we did. That was too big of a burden for one man to hold. Wes never deserved anything like it. ...And I feel like a bit of a fool pushing him even a little with sex or with that...position. It's not like I didn't have a clue, I just... didn't know and hoped, really hoped I was wrong. My own little special brand of denial. The kind laced with guilt. But that's so much more than enough about me.

"Shh," I murmur quietly, "Rest," I tell him and then look at Cordy, because I mean her too. They both look like they need it. Colds and then this. Who knew our personal lives would get as rough as a PTB vision?
Cordelia Chase: Lose Itqueen_cordette on December 12th, 2007 05:20 am (UTC)
What's he looking at me for when saying that? Rest? Me? Hah! I mean, Wes is so gone and I totally can't blame him after all that but wow! I don't think I'm able to sleep in the next...whatever. I just wanna go out there and hit something really bad like. And from the look on Angel's face? So does he. But what are the odds of me actually going out there and doing that.

I'm betting Angel will, cause hello?! Pretty much still harboring an evil vampire inside him. Wonder if he can now hear Angelus laugh. Real hard. Or of Angelus things Wes story makes him even more of a pussy. Bet he does, bet Angel doesn't, but I'm not sure. I do know I'm not gonna be resting any time soon. I feel like I'm pumped up with adrenaline and nowhere, no way, no how, to get rid of it.

So I keep rubbing Wes' back as I angrily wipe a hand over my face. Yeah, he saw that. I just know he did and damn if I care. You gotta be pretty much a heartless bitch not be effected by that and those days are *so* behind me. Seriously. I just wanna get behind the computer and look up the cheapest tickets online to get to England. Stat. Like...yesterday.

When I realize Wes is finally asleep - it's gonna be restless, I just know it - I let go of him and slip to the side of the bed. Leaning over it, I grab his shirt I got rid of- how long ago? Doesn't matter, don't care - and slip it over my head. Smells of Wes and that somehow makes me wanna crawl over him and into Angel's arms.

"That was..." I murmur, scooting back to my spot and combing my fingers soothingly through Wes hair. I stare at him for some time before looking up at Angel feeling kinda broken myself.

"...how?" How can anyone do this? Don't have to think to hard on that one, now do you Cordy? You were such a bitch yourself. "Please tell me I was never like them," I whisper, feeling sorry for myself and realize I totally have no right to do so. I just wanna hear him say no, and then he can go out and hit things or whatever. I can stay here and watch our watcher boy.
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on December 16th, 2007 02:46 am (UTC)
I watch Cordy roll away from us and for moment I think she's going leave the way she looked like she might before. And then I see why. She's taking solace in Wes' shirt. In a shirt. And here I am watching her wipe away tears instead of holding her. Yeah, Wes is the important one at the moment, but obviously this is hitting Cordy hard.

I'm letting her have her space though, letting her do what Wes soothing she thinks she can while he sleeps. I know she wanted to say more while I was talking, but this is pretty hard stuff to deal with so finding something to say isn't always easy.

Her voice is softer than a whisper when she does finally look at me over Wes' shoulder. "Never," I say firmly, reach out to cup her face and wipe away another tear. "You were nothing like that. Not even when you did your worst, and this isn't your fault," I say in case there's guilt lurking. I know, I know, not directly, but I think being this close to something so bad you want to think you could have done something.

"Why don't you come over on this side?" I ask her, hand rubbing down her arm and looking at her with concern. I'm not leaving either of them no matter how much I'd like to beat out all this frustration. It'll happen. It'll all come out, but not today. Not when they need me.

Oh, geez, I hope that person who called earlier didn't need us right away. Did they even need us? I'll have to remind myself to ask Cordy when things have calmed down. Right now I wish she'd get over here so I can hold her too. Can't let either of them down.
Cordelia Chase: Eyebrowraisequeen_cordette on December 16th, 2007 11:53 am (UTC)
For a long time I stare at him. Intensely. Usually, when people lie, they'll blink. That's what Wes said anyway. Then again, this is Angel and maybe he doesn't even need to blink. Or maybe he's not telling me a lie when he says I wasn't ever that worse. Never. It's like there's a weight lifted from my shoulders even though there will always, *always* be a tiny amount of guilt there. Lurking underneath my skin.

I mean, I bullied a girl once. So much that she chose to go invisible or whatever. Yeah. Never did know what became of her. Weirdness. And not the point right now. Making sure that this never ever happens to Wes again? That is. Sex from now on will be with the difference, you can count on that.

"Hmmm?" My eyes drag away from Wes, where fingers are still carting through his hair. As if things will go down hill if I so much as stop doing that, or stop touching him. Angel gets a confused look at his words until they filter through and I shake my head. I'm not gonna be leaving him now, I wanna stay close. Make sure he's okay, make sure he's not gonna do the whole brooding guilt thing when he wakes up.

"No," I say, "I wanna stay here, on this side of him." My other hand comes up to touch his, patting it as a thank you. I'd turn it around to lace our fingers together but the position is a bit to weird for that.

"And you?" I ask, tucking Wes in a bit warmer, not that he needs it, "Don't you wanna go out and like... do some hunting?" Yeah, I know Angel, he wants to do some damage *now*.

"It's okay, I'll stay here with Wes in case he wakes up. Just make sure you're back before ten, cause we got an appointment at eleven." And we are *seriously* going to take that job, cause we could all do with a vacation and some time away now.
Keep Me: ang sad_keep_me on December 21st, 2007 02:13 am (UTC)
I worry for a second that she's trying to push me away, to put Wes between us somehow, but I'm not sure Cordy's capable of that kind of...guilt? Or something. So I let it slide, tucking away the pat of her hand for future reference.

When she offers me the opportunity to go out, I balk. "What?" I say, looking at her confused. "I- No- I don't want to leave you guys," I say, looking at the worried way her fingers run through Wes' hair. I'm a little more worried about Cordelia than Wes right now, because Wes at least got to get it all out. Cordy's still holding things in and I'm wondering if she's going to be able to handle this.

"If he wakes up and I'm gone..." he's going to think I abandoned him, or I couldn't stand to be around him. I know he will. He's Wes, that's what he does, how he thinks even if it's wrong. I look at her, knowing she probably gets that, but I don't know...maybe she wants a little alone time with Wes. They're so close after all.

"Eleven? That phone call?" I say once that part of her orders sink in. I- shouldn't leave. This is about Wes and if I go out and start beating things to death, it becomes about me and I'll be the one wanting consoling and I don't want that. My hand rubs lightly over his back and I still cannot fathom how anyone would ever want to hurt this man. Or the little boy he was. Or ignore him either. Yeah, the anger's still there under the surface. I'm good at shoving it away, but when it's Wes or Cordy? Everything control related kind of flies out the window.
Cordelia Chase: Angel Cordyqueen_cordette on December 21st, 2007 11:46 am (UTC)
"What what?" I blink at him bewildered as he totally balks away from us as if I've slapped him. Hello! So not in the mood for slapping and more brooding and doing more of the guilt thing. Like one total breakdown isn't enough for the evening. And damn if Angel isn't gonna do something not of the good if he doesn't get this out of his system.

Point of the fact it that I'd love to go with him. Hitting things? Not really my style. I'm guessing Lorne will have to be a little bit more forgiving tonight when I loudly harp on his singing clientele. Maybe I can get drunk, that'd... totally solve nothing. Oh fuck it.

"Yeah, yeah," I murmur, waving my hand at him when he frets about Wes. Wes who's so totally out for the count I'm thinking he's not gonna wake up till tomorrow anyway on his own. *We're* gonna have to wake him up and tell him we're leaving for the appointment.

"What?" I hiss at Angel, "Hello? You don't think I can handle that? If he wakes up? You on the other hand, I *can't* handle if you keep this inside you, mister point-me-where-to-hit-things-hard. I'll tell him we got a call about a little vampire nest and you went there to take out your frustration."

Okay, maybe not totally that way, cause then we'd have McBroody the second on or hand still. Besides, I think the best thing I can do, and I want to do, is just lay here and hold onto Wes. Make sure myself no one is ever gonna do something like that to him again. Assholes.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, client. With a great job which we're gonna take, Angel," I inform him in my non nonsense voice, "its in Hawaii, all expenses paid and something tells me we could all do with some time away from here."
Keep Me_keep_me on December 29th, 2007 05:39 pm (UTC)
She's almost got me convinced that it'll be okay if I leave the bed, that the two of them will be all right if I'm gone for just a second. She's even got a logical excuse nice and handy. It makes me appreciate the side of Cordelia that can improvise with words in a way that I can't. Not much anyway.

She almost has me pushing off the bed, pulling away from Wes, giving into that urge to kill.

Almost.

Until she mentions Hawaii. "What?" I say, looking at her with an I-don't-think-so look. "Hawaii?" Is she going crazy? How am I going to get there? And why is this guy giving us all expenses paid? There's got to be more to it than just some demonic activity. The few things I've learned in L.A.? There's no such thing as a free lunch. Everybody wants something in this town.

My hand stops moving on Wes' back and I just look at her. Yeah, okay, we need a break, but Hawaii? What about her visions? It's not like the Powers are just going to move her vision locations to Hawaii, or give her time off.

She just wants to up and leave right when we're starting to figure out this new thing together? How long do they want us to stay over there? Is Wes even going to be able to handle a vacation after what he just told us? He still seems kind of fragile to me right now, even though I know he's not, but all I see is his face breaking, and those big eyes trying to hide everything away.

"I'll be back before the meeting," I say gruffly, shifting out of bed, realizing I'm going to say something stupid or hurtful about this whole Hawaii thing if I don't get this stuff with Wes out of my system. Never thought I'd be in knots about something that wasn't entirely guilt on my part. I do the guilt normally, I worry about *my* sins. This isn't something I've done - it's something I could have done though, and have in other ways - but this is something that someone needs to pay for.
Cordelia Chase: hah you wish!queen_cordette on December 29th, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
"Yeah, Hawaii," I snip, narrowing my eyes at him. There's a battle of wills going on as we stare at each other. My looks is like totally daring him to say it. Daring him to say that we can't go. I don't really care what objections he's gonna bring up, we're going to fucking Hawaii! Which is exactly what my eyes tell him while his tell a whole different story.

Does he think I'm stupid? Or what? Why'd he *think* we have a meeting later on? I love the guy, I love Angel and I love Wes to itty bits and stuff. Most of the time anyway. When it comes to this though? To business and dealing with clients and the outside world? I'm the best. Cause lets face it, Angel and Wes? Totally social retards!

If you want to narrow it down then Angel's talent is brooding and hitting things. Wes' talents is being a Britannica on legs and shoot things. That's what they do best. Me? It's outside world things, daddy taught me well, and I in return feel like I have to protect them both from outside world things.

Now even more then normal I think as I hold on tighter to Wes. So Angel can say all that he wants, we're *going* to fucking Hawaii! Screw the Powers, they can adjust their stupid visions. Or did Angel really think that Cordelia Chase had changed so much she was gonna let a practically free vacation slip through her fingers? Think again bucko!

He looks away first, getting out of bed like he's puff the dragon with all his posturing. And I know I've won this round. I know I'm gonna be winning this round too, cause if Wes wakes up before Angel gets home? I'm gonna get him in my corner with logic. Yeah, I got my boys all worked out. Logic will work on Wes, talking his ear off works on Angel.

"Be careful," I tell him, eyes narrowing a bit more. "And *don't* get hurt yourself. Cause I'm not gonna be explaining to Wes why you're bleeding on my carpet looking all bruised. Got it?" Yeah, sounded like a question, but so wasn't. He knows that. And it's not just Wes I'm worried about here. Don't think I'm gonna be able to keep it together if I had to nurse Angel as well. He's my rock now, my rock who is *so* gonna go with us to Hawaii.
Keep Me_keep_me on December 29th, 2007 07:13 pm (UTC)
My back stays to her as I get out of bed, a thousand things warring on my face that I don't want her to see, because I know she thinks she's a big bad just like Spike always thought, but she's breakable too and I don't want her thinking something that I'm not thinking even if it looks like I am.

I can practically feel her glare behind me as she tells me not to get hurt while I grab some clothes too. I also hear the worry she's trying not to let show. Because she does. She knows how dangerous our jobs are and I know she doesn't like to let it show, but there's still a worry there creasing her features when Wes and I go out without her after a vision.

Tugging a long-sleeved black shirt over my head to top off the black pants, I turn back to the bed, finally schooling my face into something resembling...nothing. Leaning over, I give Wes's shoulder a gentle kiss, and then look at Cordy. "Got it," I murmur, giving her hair a stroke and leaning in for the briefest kiss.

Duster, shoes and I'm gone, a flutter of air like always, a soft click of the door, and the beginnings of night curl around me comfortably. Makes me feel like I can do that figurative breathing.

I can't guarantee that I won't get hurt, but I can guarantee that neither of them will see it. I wouldn't do that to either of them right now.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: brown sweater looking down smile S2/3watcher_pryce on December 29th, 2007 07:56 pm (UTC)
When I wake up my throat feels sore. Raw. In a familiar way. When I was a child it used to feel that way when I'd cried a little to much. Not that this happened very often, even less when I grew up. My father made certain of that. It's when I think of my father that what happened... how long ago? Days? Hours? What happened is overwhelming me to the fullest. It's like a slide show moving very fast in front of my eyes. Only this time it's words. I've told them. I've told them nearly everything.

At first I'm afraid to open my eyes because I don't know what I'd do if I were in an empty bed. So I let myself feel first. There's someone holding onto me. Rather tightly at that I realize when I shift a little. But there's only one someone. Someone with body heat, which means it's not Angel. He's not here. That thought makes my heart sink, a bile forming in my throat.

Which is really not what I need right now. In fact, what I need right now is to crawl deeper under the covers and hide for a century or so. God, I'm so embarrassed. What have I done? Why did I tell them that? Because they deserve to know what sort of man they're getting involved in. And the end result it that Angel's not there and Cordelia... I don't know what Cordelia's doing. Other then holding onto me as though she's afraid I'm going to slip away. Slip away as well?

Since I can't hide forever - if life has taught me anything it's *that* - I slowly open my eyes and look over at Cordelia. She's watching me, eyes narrowing, a frown forming on her beautiful face. I can't help but let my eyes drift around the room in the hopes that Angel might be standing somewhere. Somewhere close, hovering, looming, brooding, just... here. Cordelia's snippy voice makes me swirl my head around fast and look at her with wide eyes. "W-what?"
Cordelia Chase: Wes Cordy Friendsqueen_cordette on December 29th, 2007 07:57 pm (UTC)
"I *said*, don't you *dare*."

There's fire in my eyes as I look at him. Gotta say though, there was a hell of a lot more venomy fire a few days ago. Damn those men for making me less bitchy to them. Not that I've lost it totally, just more... you know? Yeah. Especially with him, especially know. I've been watching him cause he's not the only Watcher around. Ex or whatever.

It's kinda creepy how I can read them sometimes. Like one of Wes books, only then the readers digest easy kind cause I don't do demon lingo. But I can read Wes like that. From the moment he was starting to wake up to the moment he opened his eyes. And I know, *know* what is first thought was. Aside from the panic and the 'good lord what did I do' kinda stuff. His first thought was that Angel's not here.

"Vampires," I say, kinda hoping that would explain everything. Course it doesn't, cause Angel's a vampire too. I scoot closer to him and only just now realize that hey, he's still totally naked. Oh *that's* gonna be an issue soon. Shoulda probably gotten him some boxers or whatever. "I mean, vampire nest. Got a call, few hours ago, Angel went to check it out. And *you* needed sleep. Besides, you know Angel. Cooped up to long and he needs to blow off steam."

Not like Wes is a dummy. Bet he knows perfectly well why Angel went out to 'blow off some steam'. "Now stop it with the guilt eyes. Don't look at me like that, cause you were totally doing guilt face." Reaching out with one hand I brush my fingers through his hair and smile softly. "Wes, I know that musta been hard. But you know what? We're still here, we're still with the loving, and you know, thanks. For sharing, cause... yeah, you can trust us." And he does, or he wouldn't have told us.

"Do you need anything? Water? Aspirin? Underwear?" What? Oh come on, not like I was gonna let such an easy one go!
Keep Me_keep_me on December 29th, 2007 09:34 pm (UTC)
The night feels good and I relax a little, shaking off the tightness in my shoulders that was building from trying to fight off all those urges to hurt.

I'd have brought my sword, but that might have been a little too obvious this early in the evening. Stakes it is. I run at top speed to a seedier neighborhood just to release some energy so I don't get careless. Long, efficient strides, and I don't stop right away, just keep going, passing a few run down places I *know* are vamp haunts in favor of blowing off some less violent steam first.

It's when I hear a few crashes from a nearby rundown Victorian that I stop my meandering and take a scent. Definitely vampires and definitely a few of them. Hopefully not too many or Cordy's going to get let down about that whole not getting hurt thing.

The house door is already broken into and the place looks like it might fall apart any second as it is. Probably condemned, this far from any good neighborhood. My body is coiled and tight again like a cat set to pounce, only this time, I know I can control it and I know I can unleash it without hurting someone that doesn't deserve it. Like Wes.

Creeping up the stairs, there's a loud blare of what passes for music these days and a high pitched laugh that makes me shudder. A little too much like Darla when she was really enjoying herself.

Peering through the almost closed door, I see at lest four vamps, probably another two that I can't see. Not the ideal situation, but I think I can handle them all stuck in a room with me at the entrance. As long as I stay by the door, keep my back to the exit and let them come to me.

Plus, from the smell? They're drunk and stupid. Only newly turned vampires would be drunk from the little alcohol that I can smell. I punch open the door and hear a laugh of surprise and a small, small whimper.

Shit. They've got a human. The one next to her already has the buttons on her shirt ripped open, and the one to her other side is making those whimpers from kissing...with teeth, her blood now obviously filling the air.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wes glasses looking down S2watcher_pryce on December 29th, 2007 10:21 pm (UTC)
Either she really does know me well, or she's a mind reader. And last I checked Cordelia had visions, but she wasn't a mind reader. Which means that she's gotten bloody good when it comes to reading me. I wonder if she can read Angel that well, too. Can I read them as well? Sometimes I think I can, especially when they're showing signs of moving into world war three territory. Other times I think I don't know them so well at all.

I roll over to my back, push up into a sitting position and drop my hands into my lap. The entire time I'm moving, Cordelia moves with me. As though she really is afraid I'll slip away. Then again, after what I've just... confessed, I can't really blame her. I have a pretty good idea where Angel is. I doubt there even was a call, but if this is what they want me to think then I'll let them into that delusion.

Its not often anyone has told me a white lie, just to make me feel better.

"I'm sorry, I'm--" I wince when I risk a look up and she has that look in her eyes again. I guess apologizing isn't in the cards for anything anytime soon. I do feel guilty though, for putting them through this. Angel nor Cordelia did anything to have me heap my burden onto them. It seems Cordy at least is strangely happy that I have. No doubt something about shared burdens and such. I'm not sure about Angel, since he's not here.

Of course now I can't help but worry about him, even so far as feeling it down in my stomach. Of course that might also have to do with the stress of what I've just told them.

"I wouldn't mind some water," I croak out, realizing my voice sounds rather scratched. "And some-- what?" That was most definitely not a squeak! My eyes go wide and I tentatively lift up the covers to discover that I'm indeed stark naked. While Cordelia has taken to wearing my shirt again. Something wrong with Angel's shirts? Other then that he's not wearing them to bed so they're not within easy grasp I suppose.

I can feel myself blushing bright red as I quickly pull the covers up higher. Which, all things considered, is pretty ridiculous. Even Cordelia seems amused by the move, which makes me scowl at her. "Very funny, twit."
Cordelia Chase: pretty shorter hairqueen_cordette on December 29th, 2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
Hah! I still got it! That was so a squeak. A cute one to boot, so he's still got it too. One thing Angel and I are gonna have a hard time drilling out of Wes though? That stupid ass constant apologizing. Wonder if he did that as a kid too. Then again with the story he just told us? Yeah, I'm thinking he did. All the time. And I bet those bullies loved that. And maybe it got him out of a jam more then once and it's become some kinda automatism now. Not like I'm a shrink!

I smile at him when he swallows the rest of that apology, followed by a polite request for water and no doubt lots of painkillers. I mean, crying like he did and the talking? He's gotta have a headache. Dennis is on the case though, like a good little ghost, cause I can hear the water running and the rattle of a bottle of pills in the bathroom. Wonder if Dennis was listening to, wonder what *he* thinks of all this. Least he seems okay with me and Angel and Wes sharing... you know, each other.

"Hey, I don't know what a twit is, but I'm pretty sure you just insulted me buster," I tell him, poking my finger at his bare shoulder. Not to hard mind you, cause yeah, I know about my nails. Not looking to hurt him any time soon. Or you know, ever. Not even on accident, which is what usually happens. But if I can get him to bitch at me? Then at least I know he's gonna be okay.

"And as much as I love to keep you naked - and Angel as well - like the whole day? We got a meeting later this evening and I don't think Angel's gonna let you go there in the buff. There might be lots of growling and posturing and stuff, you know what he's like." Yep! There's that blush, getting bigger and bigger. Gotta love the blush, only Wes is able to do that I'm thinking.

A glass of water comes floating over, as well as a bottle of pills. My eyes turn toward the door as Wes takes the aspirin or whatever. I'm hoping the door will open soon, cause it's been a while and I'm starting to get worried. Not about making it to the meeting on time, but about our caped avenger. And you know? If *I'm* worried? You can bet our ass that Wes is gonna be too. In fact, he'll be the one who's worked himself into a state long before I'm gonna be worried. That's not of the good.

"I'm sure he'll be home soon," I say, answering an unspoken question but knowing Wes was about to ask anyway.
Keep Me_keep_me on December 29th, 2007 11:07 pm (UTC)
I really, really, really wanted this to be easy. Just vent some anger, dust some vampires and get out of there, walking off any of the bruises I happened to get.

I've got to be careful now. I've got to not kill everything that moves. It sucks, but I'm glad I chose this house. Or I would be if I weren't feeling a little selfish and now extra angry about what happened to Wes. This happened to Wes.

I look at them all a little murderously, fists clenching. "Get away from her. Now," and in my head, I'm growling get away from *him* over and over, anger building to the point that the first one to come lumbering clumsily at me gets his head literally ripped right off. There's a crack of spine and then rip of skin and he's dust as his body falls from his head. "Who's next?" I say, watching them scatter towards the one window in the room, the girl now alone on the couch. "You should go," I tell her, not sure if she'll even move as terrified as she is.

I'm not worried about her though, and I take slow steps towards them, looming like Cordy always says I do. One of them actually does get out the window, but I shoot off my two wrist stakes before the other two can get to the sill, and the last one... The last one with blood on his lips...

He gets a cold look and a stake to the gut so fast he doesn't know which way to turn.

"You missed," he groans with a sneering look of surprise and good fortune.

"I know. I meant to," I say, by now able to see the blood on his teeth, the smell of it reeking on him to say the least. It's not often that my stomach turns at the smell of blood, but right now, that is Wesley's blood on his mouth and I can't stop myself from simply punching the demon again and again, pulling out my stake and punching the wound, raining down blows until he barely has a face. My throat is closed tight and by now he's down on the floor, giving my foot ample opportunity to connect with his face too.

If Wes and Cordy were here, they'd be worried, a little voice in the back of my head warns, and I just barely manage to stop myself before I smash his face into a pulp. Picking him up and tossing him out the window, I let the vampire fall onto the old picket fence outside, the dust of his corpse spraying the ground.

The girl is gone when I turn around, and it's only when I get outside that I smell her again, and see her shaking at the end of the block. She runs, and I struggle to get my phone out of my pocket and find the right number. A call to Kate has a cruiser being sent around to find the girl, no questions asked for once.

I walk for a while, still trying to clear my head of everything, but in the end, the only place I want to be is back with Cordy and Wes, feeling their warmth and being welcome...no matter what.

It's that thought that has me jogging home and opening the door as soon as I can.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wesley & Angelwatcher_pryce on December 29th, 2007 11:25 pm (UTC)
It's a good thing I'd already drank the water and took those bloody painkillers, or I'd have been choking on them by now. I'm pretty sure she does that on purpose sometimes. And other times I'm convinced she has no idea what comes out of her mouth. What she blurts out so fast she doesn't even think about it. A talent, a questionable one, but one never the less.

Its only once I get my brain past the going out naked *anywhere* stage that I realize she said we were having a meeting later on this evening. Oh. Yes. The phone call from that chap before this happened. Before the shower, a lovely shower indeed, and before the...Before I told them. I'd completely forgotten about that. Cordelia hasn't though and since she seems so intent to go there, maybe she and Angel should go.

I'm torn. On the one hand I want to cling onto them so tightly I feel like a bloody child. Not wanting to let go in fear that if I do they'll leave me. On the other hand there's the idea of going anywhere outside this room right now. It frightens me. As though people will take one look at me and know. Just *know* what I am. Pathetic, weakling, victim.

But most of all, I realize as I fiddle with the blankets, I'm worried about Angel. I now Cordelia is as well. It's not just the way her eyes dart toward the door at every sound, or the way she tries to reassure *me* that he'll be back soon. I just know she's worried and by now the rolling of my stomach seems to have intensified.

"Maybe we should go looking for him," I murmur, anxiously looking at the door when there's another sound coming from that direction.
Cordelia Chase: Angel Cordy tongue sticking outqueen_cordette on December 29th, 2007 11:29 pm (UTC)
Continued Here